2,000 Miles Together
by Lolitsme2147
Summary: A broken motorcycle, a flat tire, some nice popcorn chicken and a decapitated president bobble head. Road trip anyone? AU and pretty OOC. [Literati]
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I knowwwww! I definitely shouldn't be starting a new story but hey! It is what it is. *wink wink nudge nudge* DID YOU GET IT? IT WAS A LITERATI REFERENCE! oh, I'm being obnoxious and should just get on with the story? Oh, alright.**_

 ** _Just a lil background, but basically in this story Jess is more of a cocky jerk instead of the brooding type. But the main aspect of Jess is still there. Just imagine Logan but upgraded and instead of Logan it's Jess. Imagine Jess in the revival. (my theory is that in the revival, Jess was a bit more humorous and he was cracking nice jokes instead of the dark, silent humor he had)_**

 ** _And Rory is still Rory, but she's more of a grown-up woman. Instead of the meek, shy girl she was, this is basically how Rory is a bit more self-empowered and she's pretty much how we all expected her to become instead of what happened with her at Yale._**

 _ **Disclaimer: Come on, if I really owned Gilmore Girls, I would've changed sooo much. Starting with more Jess and more Literati. Anyways, yeah, I don't own anything.**_

* * *

I wondered if the vibration would feel good between my legs.

The sun caught the chrome of a Harley Davidson parked a few spots over, gleaming in the sweltering midday sun. I waited until Maroon Five finished playing on the radio, oddly fixated on the two-wheeled-man-toy as I fished in my purse for my cell phone. The motorcycle was simple—high gloss black and shiny silver, worn leather saddlebags with a skull embossed below the initials J.M.

How good would it feel to ride? Wind blowing through my long hair, arms wrapped around a man with a tough sounding nickname, engine purring beneath my jean clad thighs. Horse? Drifter? Guns? Wait. No. Pres. My imaginary biker was most definitely called Pres. And he'd look just like Charlie Hunnam.

I glanced down at my iPhone and found a half dozen new messages from Logan. Inwardly, I smirked. Certainly, there is no one named Logan that ever rode a Harley. Tossing my phone back in my bag, I cut the engine of my packed BMW and glanced behind me into the backseat. Boxes piled to the ceiling were beginning to make my full-size car feel claustrophobic.

A bus full of travelers pulled into the rest stop. Great. I'd better go in now and get my lunch, otherwise I'd never get out of here. Ten hours into a cross-country trip from New York to California, I was somewhere in the middle of Nebraska with about another twenty some odd hours to go.

After a fifteen-minute wait inside for Pepsi and Popeye's fried chicken bites that I planned to eat back in the car, I stopped into the small souvenir shop. I was so tired and didn't really feel like driving the additional five hours I had to go before finding a place to sleep for the night. Yawning, I decided to stall and browse for a few minutes. Checking out some trinkets, I eventually picked up a Barack Obama bobble head and shook it mindlessly, watching its maniacal smile as the head bounced up and down.

"Get it. You know you want it," a deep, raspy voice said from behind my shoulders. Startling me, it caused a knee-jerk reaction that resulted in the bobblehead slipping from my fingers and falling to the ground. The head broke off of the spring neck and rolled away.

The woman at the register shouted, "I'm sorry, ma'am. You'll have to pay for that. Twenty dollars."

"Damn it!" I spewed, following the path of the rolling head. As I bent down to pick it up, there was the voice again from behind me.

"And to think, some people say he's got a good head on his shoulders."

"You think this is funny, asshole?" I asked before turning around and getting my first look at the man behind the voice.

I froze.

Oh. Shit.

"You don't need to be a fucking bitch about it." His mouth curved into a wicked grin as he handed me the bottom half of Obama. "And for the record, I did think that was really funny."

I swallowed and seemed to lose my ability to speak as I took in the Adonis standing before me. I wanted to smack that cocky smile right off his face, though—his gorgeous, chiseled, framed by a thick head of dark hair. And even darker brown eyes. Fuck me. This man was insanely hot, not someone I expected to come across out here.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I didn't think it was funny at all."

"Then, you need to take the stick out of your ass and lighten up." He reached out his hand. "Give it to me, Princess. I'll pay for the damn thing." Before I could respond, he grabbed the two broken pieces from me, and I cursed at the shiver that ran down my spine from the brief contact of his hand brushing against mine. Of course, he had to smell amazing on top of it all.

I followed him to the register as I fished through my messy purse for money, but he was too quick and had paid for it already.

He handed me a plastic bag containing the broken bobblehead. "There's some change in the bag. Buy yourself a sense of humor."

My jaw dropped as he walked away and out of the store.

What an ass.

It was. A fine one. A thick, juicy, round ass hugged tightly by his jeans. God, I really needed to get laid, because it didn't seem to matter that this guy had just insulted me to my face; my panties were practically wet.

After several minutes of staring into space at a shelf of Nebraska Cornhuskers t-shirts, I gave myself a mental kick in the butt. My reaction to the incident proved that fatigue had gotten the best of me; I wasn't usually that short-tempered. It was time to shake off the bizarre encounter and get moving. My stomach was growling, and I was looking forward to breaking into the fried chicken once I hit the road. I snuck a piece out of the box in my bag as I walked out of the building. My chewing ceased when I noticed _him,_ two spots down from my car—sitting on the very motorcycle I'd been fantasizing about earlier.

Approaching slowly, I hoped he didn't notice me. No such luck. Instead, when he spotted me, he flashed an exaggerated smile and waved.

Frantically searching for my keys, I rolled my eyes and muttered, "You again."

He snickered. "Did you end up buying a sense of humor?"

"I used the change to buy you some couth instead."

Chuckling, he shook his head at me. Running his hand through his hair, he put his shiny black helmet on and cranked the Harley. The rumble shook me to my core.

Getting in the car and slamming the door, I couldn't help taking one last look over at him, seeing as though I'd never see this guy again in my lifetime. He winked through the helmet, and my pathetic heart fluttered.

I watched through the rear view mirror as he backed out of the spot. I expected him to take off like a bat out of hell, but after moving away slowly, he abruptly stopped. He kept trying to rev the bike to get it to move, but nothing was happening. Eventually turning off the engine, he removed his helmet and ran his hand through his hair in frustration before getting off to inspect things. I should have just left, but couldn't take my eyes off him as he struggled to get it to run. Man, that sucks.

I dipped one of the chicken bites into the honey mustard sauce and popped it into my mouth, continuing to watch this like a spectator sport for several minutes. At one point, he took out his phone and made a phone call as he paced back and forth.

Putting his phone away, he looked in my direction and glared at me. Caught in the act of watching him, I let out a nervous laugh. I didn't mean to laugh at the situation, but it just came out. He raised his brow, and that made me cackle harder. He slowly walked toward me, clutching the helmet by his side. He knocked on my window, and I lowered it.

"You think this is funny, Princess?"

"Not really… maybe." I snorted.

"Well, I'm glad you finally managed to find your sense of humor."

God, his voice was sexy.

He arched his neck to look into the backseat and took notice of all the boxes. "You homeless or something? Living out of your car?"

"No. I'm in the middle of a cross-country move."

"Where you headed?"

"Temecula."

"California." He nodded. "Me, too."

I looked toward his Harley. "Well, it looks like you're not exactly headed anywhere anytime soon. I guess it's payback for calling me a bitch."

"Well, that would seem to be the case."

"That it's payback?"

"No, that you're a bitch."

"Very funny."

"You know what's even better than payback?" he asked leaning into the window, his cologne intoxicating me.

"What?"

He wiggled his brows. "Karma."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come around and have a look at the back of your Beemer."

I got out and walked around to the back of my car to find my right rear tire was completely flat.

What? This cannot be happening.

With my hand on my forehead, I looked over at his smug expression. "Are you kidding me? Did you know my tire was flat all this time?"

"I noticed it right around the time I caught you popping chicken and laughing at me, yes. It was real hard for me to keep a straight face at that point."

I didn't know how to change a tire to save my life. I couldn't believe what I was about to ask of him.

"Do you know how to change a tire?"

"Of course I do. What kind of a man would I be if I didn't know how to change a tire?"

"Will you help me? I know you have no reason to want to… after our little altercation, but I'm seriously desperate. I don't want to be stuck out here all alone at night."

"Let me ask you a question."

"Okay…"

He rubbed the scruff on his chin. "How badly do you want your tire changed?"

I backed away from him. "What exactly are you getting at?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, sweetheart. I'm not fucking propositioning you if that's what you think. You're not my type."

"And what exactly is your type?"

"I typically go for women who don't have the personality of a door knob."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure."

 _Stupid smirking jerk._

"So, what are your conditions?"

"Well, as you clearly know from your laughing fit, my Harley is experiencing a technical malfunction at the moment. It needs a part that I don't have. I just called a tow company. But I'm on a deadline, and like you, I need to get to California."

"You're not suggesting…"

"Yes. Yes, I am. If I change your tire, you let me ride with you."

"Ride with me?"

"Ride me, yes."

"What did you just say?"

"You're hearing things."

I shook my head to rid the images now flashing through it. Did my tired mind only imagine that he just said that, or was he messing with me?

"I cannot drive hundreds of miles with a total stranger," I said.

"It's a fuck of a lot safer than driving alone."

"Not if you're a serial killer!"

"Look who's talking. You're the one who decapitated a U.S. president."

I couldn't help but laugh. This situation was seriously insane.

"Holy shit, Princess, is that a laugh at your own expense, I see?"

"I think you're making me delirious."

He stuck out his hand. "So, you in?"

I crossed my arms instead of taking it. "What choice do I have?"

"Well, you could always have him change your tire." He gestured to a large and scary-looking man who seemed to be watching us. This guy looked like Herman Munster in the flesh.

Letting out a deep breath, I conceded. "I'm in. I'm in! Just get me out of here."

"I thought you might say that. Please tell me you have a spare."

"Yeah. But I have to move some of my boxes so you can get to it."

He started to crack up when he got a load of the situation inside my trunk. "Damn, what the hell is all this crap?"

I looked into his eyes and answered honestly, "My entire life."

I temporarily piled the contents of the trunk onto the pavement. He got the spare out and immediately got to work.

As he was changing the tire, his white t-shirt rode up, exposing his tanned, rock-hard abs and a thin trail of hair that ran into his underwear line. Unwanted tension built between my legs. I needed a distraction, so I walked over to his bike and sat on it, gripping the handles and imagining what it would be like to ride in the wind. But all I could envision now was him in front of me, and that wasn't helping.

He slid his body from under my car. "Be careful, little girl. That's not a toy."

I hopped off and ran my finger along the letters emblazoned on the saddlebags. "What does J.M. stand for anyway?"

"Those are my initials."

"Let me guess… Jackass Much?"

"See… I would have told you my name, but since you're so clever, I think I'll just let you guess."

"Whatever."

He lay back down on the ground. "I'm just tightening up these nuts, and we'll be ready to go."

"Nuts?"

"Lug nuts… on the wheel, dirty girl."

"Oh."

Hopping up, he lifted his shirt and used it to wipe his forehead. "All set."

Damn.

"That was quick. Are you sure it's on right?"

"I've got a few screws loose, darling, as you'll soon find out, but none of them are on your wheel." He winked and for the first time, I noticed his dimples. "We should probably stop tomorrow and get a new tire put on. This spare is really not meant for long term use."

Tomorrow. Wow. This was really happening.

"We should get going," I said. "I'll drive. I need to be in control of this situation."

"Whatever you want," he said.

I could feel the tension in my neck as I backed out of the spot. This was going to be very interesting to say the least. He wasted no time digging into my chicken bites.

I playfully slapped his hand. "Hey, lay off my food."

"Honey mustard? I prefer barbecue." He licked his thumb, and I swore at myself for getting turned on a little. This was going to be a long ride.

He smirked and lifted the plastic bag from the souvenir shop. "Did you even open it?"

"No. What's the point? It's just a broken bobblehead."

Handing it to me, he said, "Is it?"

With one hand on the steering wheel, I took out the bobblehead which was… in one piece.

"What the… how did you?"

"You seemed to like it, so I paid for the other and bought you a different one. You were too busy looking through your purse to notice."

I couldn't help but smile and shook my head.

"Well, whaddya know. A genuine smile." He held out his hand. "Here… gimme." When, I handed it to him, he took an adhesive strip off the bottom and stuck it to the dash. Obama's head was now bopping up and down with every movement of the car.

I broke out in laughter at the ridiculousness but also couldn't help the warm feeling that came over me with that sweet gesture. Maybe he wasn't really a bastard at all.

We were quiet for a while as he lay his head back and shut his eyes. Somewhere along I-76 after the sun set into a bright orange glow that illuminated the horizon in the distance, he turned to me.

His voice was groggy. "I'm Jess."

After several seconds of silence, I said, "Rory."

"Rory," he repeated in a breathy whisper, seeming to contemplate my name before closing his eyes again and turning his head away.

* * *

"You just gonna keep letting that go to voicemail?" He narrowed his eyes on my cellphone buzzing on top of the center console. The damn thing was going off every half hour or so, but now the break between calls had shortened to ten minutes.

"Yep." It stopped dancing around, and I offered no further explanation. I'd thought maybe he'd let it go.

Of course he didn't. Five minutes later it buzzed again, and Jess grabbed it before I realized what he was doing.

"Logan's calling." He dangled my phone between his thumb and pointer, swinging it back and forth until I snatched it out of his hand.

"It's none of your business."

"It's a long ride, Princess. You know we're gonna talk about it eventually."

"Trust me, we won't."

"We'll see."

Only a few more minutes passed, and my phone was at it yet again. Before I could stop him, he had it in his hand once more. Only this time, he swiped and held it up to his mouth.

"H'lo."

My eyes bulged from my head. I almost swerved off the road, yet I sat there like a mute.

"Logan. How's it going, bro?"

Logan's voice rose through the cell, although I couldn't make out the words. I glanced over at Jess's cocky face. He shrugged at me, smiled, and leaned back into his seat, quite enjoying himself. At that moment, I decided our little road trip was over. As soon as we got to the next exit, his ass was getting kicked to the curb. That perfectly round mass of muscle could hitchhike through Nebraska for all I cared.

"Yeah, sure. She's here. But we're kinda busy right now."

I heard the next question loud and clear. Jess pulled the receiver away from his ear as Logan roared, "Who the fuck is this?"

"Name's Jess. Jess Mariano. Some of my friends call me Jackass," he said with the perfect melody of intonation that I visualized causing the vein in Logan's throat to throb a deep shade of purple.

"Put. Rory. On. The. Fucking. Phone." Each word was a short staccato burst of anger. Suddenly, I was no longer mad at Jess for answering the phone. I was livid that Logan had the audacity to be angry at what I was doing.

"No can do, Logan. She's… indisposed at the moment."

Another growl of expletives came through the phone.

"Listen, Logan. I'm going to tell you this man to man, because you sound like a good guy. Rory's been avoiding your calls to be polite. The truth is, she just doesn't want to talk to you."

My anger was rapidly bouncing between the two men. Yet… The way he said my name. I wanted to strangle Jess, although at the same time, I really wanted him to say my name again. What in the hell was wrong with me? I missed Logan's response, busy replaying the sound of my name spoken from the dark haired beauty. The way it rolled off that cocky bastard's tongue made my belly do a little flutter. I might have had a momentary lapse in time as I imagined it being whispered in my ear with a throaty strain. _RO-RY._

I blinked myself back to reality as Jess released an exaggerated sigh into the phone. "Okay then, Logan. But you're going to need to stop now. We're taking a nice long trip, and your constant buzzing is getting our girl's panties in a twist. So be a good man and knock off the interruptions for a while. Yeah?"

Our girl. That vein had to be ready to explode in Logan's neck.

Jess didn't wait for a response before disconnecting the call.

For a full five minutes, neither of us said a word. He must have been expecting the tirade to come.

"You're not going to lay into me about my chat with Logan?"

My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. "I'm processing."

"Processing?" His voice was almost amused.

"Yes. Processing."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I don't say the first thing that comes to my mind. Unlike some people, I think about what I'm feeling and verbalize it appropriately."

"You filter shit." He snorted.

"I do not."

"Yes, you do. If you're pissed off, say it. Scream it if you have to. But bitch once and get it over with, and stop being a bitch all the time."

The road was pretty barren, so it wasn't hard to slam on the brakes and pull over to the side of the road. I crossed three lanes and jerked to a stop. It was dark, the only light from my headlights and the occasional car passing. I got out and walked to the passenger side of the car and waited for him to join me.

Hands on my hips. "You have a lot of nerve. I save your ass at the rest stop and you proceed to get in my car, eat half my food, change my radio station and then, to top it off, you answer my phone."

He folded his arms over his chest. "You didn't save my ass, I ate one popcorn chicken, your taste in music sucks, and Logan with the stick up his ass was upsetting you."

I glared at him.

He glared right back.

Oh My God. The light from a passing car lit his face, and there it was. Number thirteen. His angry eyes were exactly the color of number thirteen. I used to have to peel the paper off in the Crayola sixty-four pack before the other crayons had even lost their points. I liked it so much, it wasn't just the color I'd shaded the ground. There was a whole year of my life when all the faces in my coloring books were that beautiful brown with a mysterious touch of gray.

I was half gone. And then he took the other half.

"Rory," He stepped forward.

Damn him. I didn't say a word. I was busy… processing.

"I was trying to help. Logan deserved that. I don't know who he is to you, but whoever he is, he's obviously done you wrong. And you don't want to hear his apologies anymore. They're bullshit, and you know it. Let him stew on the thought of you taking a trip with another man for a while. With a woman like you, he should know men would be circling. He shouldn't need reminding."

 _Woman like me?_

I tried to keep up the façade of being pissed off, but I just wasn't feeling it anymore. "Well, don't touch my phone again."

"Yes, ma'am."

I nodded, needing to feel some sense of victory. I couldn't just let go of my anger because he had a sexy voice and number thirteen eyes. Could I?

"How about I drive for a while?"

My night vision wasn't great to begin with, and I was starting to get a little blurry eyed. "Okay."

He opened the passenger side door and waited for me to get in, then closed it and jogged around to the other side. Before slipping into the driver's seat, he bent down and picked something up from the street, dropping it into his bag in the back before adjusting the seat where he wanted it.

"What did you pick up?"

"Nothing." He blew off my question. "Driver picks the music." We pulled away from the curb.

"You changed the station every five minutes while I was driving."

He shrugged and smiled. "It's a new rule."

Being in the passenger seat gave me an opportunity to study him. God those dimples were deep. And the bit of stubble starting to shadow his chiseled jaw worked for me. Really worked. There was a good chance he'd be driving an awful lot.

* * *

Three hours later, it was almost midnight when we decided to stop for the day. We'd made it as far as I'd planned, even with having to waste a few hours getting a new tire.

The woman at the reception desk of the hotel was busy playing a game on her phone and barely looked up at us when we approached.

"We'd like a room for tonight, please?" Jess said.

"Ummm… two rooms, please," I clarified.

"What? I was going to get one with two beds."

"I am not sharing a room with you."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself." And turned his attention back to the front desk clerk. "She's afraid if we room together, she won't be able to keep her hands off of me." He winked at her. She had dark skin, but I could see her blush anyway.

I rolled my eyes, too tired to fight with him again and spoke to the clerk, "Can you make my room facing west, not on the ground floor, and an even number, if possible?"

"I'd like mine with a bed, toilet and television, if that's possible." He grinned, bating me.

"I can give you rooms 217 and 218. They're right next to each other."

"Perfect. She likes to be close to me."

I wasn't sure if his egomaniacal sense of humor was growing on me or if I was just slap happy from so many hours in the car, but I actually laughed a little.

He looked pleased.

The clerk handed us our keys along with a warm chocolate chip cookie each. On our way to the elevator, I offered him mine. "Want my cookie? I'm not going to eat it."

"Sure. I'll eat you."

"What did you just say?"

"I said I'd eat yours."

I really needed to get some sleep. And perhaps a nice cold shower.

He toted both our overnight bags to our rooms, and it wasn't lost on me that he let me in and out of the elevator before him. Jess had manners to go with his arrogance.

"Night, Princess."

"Night, Asshole."

I was glad he didn't say my name; I was bothered enough just sleeping next door to him.

Fifteen minutes later, I'd completed my bedtime ritual and slipped into bed. I took a deep breath in and out and let myself sink into the softness of the mattress.

A knock at the door made me jump.

With a huff, I got out of bed and stood on my tiptoes to look out the peephole. Why were those things always so high on the door anyway? I was surprised to find no one standing on the other side. Maybe I'd imagined it.

Another knock.

I flicked on the lights. The sound wasn't coming from the entrance door. It was coming from an interior door I hadn't even noticed before.

Jess's door.

I unfastened the top lock and cracked it open just enough so I could see what he wanted. And there he stood.

Shirtless.

Wearing only dark gray boxer briefs that hugged him like a second skin.

It took a minute to understand what he was doing there, even though he was holding up a toothbrush in question.

"I thought we had established I wasn't a serial killer already."

I opened the door wider.

He smiled.

Oh lord. Stop that. Right now.

"I must have left my toothpaste in my backpack in the car."

I swallowed hard. "Uh huh."

He cocked his head to the side, and his brows dipped in. "Can I borrow yours?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

He walked past me and let himself into my bathroom. I waited at the door.

"You got an awful lot of girly crap in here for one night," he said with a jumbled mouth full of toothpaste from the bathroom. "Private Collection Tuberose Gardenia."

He was reading my Estee Lauder perfume bottle.

I heard him rinse and spit. Then there was a gargling sound. He used my mouthwash too. Sure, help yourself.

He walked out and flicked off the bathroom light. "Is tuberose a rose?"

I shook my head, still confused by the whole situation going on.

"That's why," he murmured.

"Why what?"

"I couldn't figure out what you smelled like all day. Not sure I ever smelled a Tuberose before." He shrugged and walked back into his room but not before turning back. "Even those little black lacy underwear smell like tuberose."

My eyes bulged. I'd taken off my bra and panties and left them on the bathroom counter.

"You… you—"

"Relax. I'm teasing. Do I look like an underwear sniffer to you?"

Yes.

No.

Maybe?

"Night, Rory." He graced me with a dimple and disappeared.

Damn him.

I locked the door and checked it twice, unclear if it was for my safety or his. His voice saying my name was on audio replay inside my head, getting softer and softer like a soothing lullaby with each breath as I drifted off to dreamland.

Until the knock came again.

I think I might have actually fallen asleep for all of three seconds before getting up to open the door. Again.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

My room was pitch dark; he had every light in his room on. It took my eyes a minute to adjust. And when they did, they focused right on his underwear. Instead of saying no and shutting the door, I argued with him. Again.

"I'm not watching a movie with you in your underwear."

He looked down and back up at me. "What? It's not like I have boner."

My eyes widened at the inappropriateness of his comment, but then I started picturing him in his ridiculously tight underwear with an erection. Suddenly, I had no place to look. If I looked down, I was staring at his package. If I looked up at him, he'd surely see what I was thinking.

He chuckled. "I'll put shorts on."

I had no idea why I was even negotiating, when I really had no desire to watch a movie. He disappeared and came back a minute later with a pair of loose hanging shorts. I could still see the rim of his Calvin Klein underwear band sticking out. And now that there were no tight undies to focus on, I realized the shorts actually made it worse. They hung from the valley on his narrow hips where a deep V was carved. Covering up his tight buns only left me to pay more attention to the details of his chest. And his ridiculous abs.

"Your turn," he said.

My eyes asked for clarification.

"If I can't be in my underwear, you have to change out of that night shirt."

"What's wrong with my shirt?" My voice was defensive.

His eyes dropped to my chest and the corners of his lips curled to a delicious wicked grin. "Nothing at all. By all means, keep it on."

I looked down, having forgotten that I was wearing a thin white shirt with no bra. My nipples were standing at full attention, trying to pierce through the sheer fabric.

We argued over what to rent for twenty minutes before deciding on a horror movie I didn't really want to watch. Five minutes later, wearing a sweatshirt over my nightshirt, I fell asleep with Jess sitting on the twin bed next to me.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Leave a review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: thank you guys so much for the lovely reviews! I honestly expected this to be a flop along with the rest of my stories. Anyways, here's a new chapter. Hope ya'll enjoy!**_

 ** _disclaimer: okay, i seriously doubt ASP is lurking through Gilmore Girl's fanfiction and tryna hit all of us with that copyrighted tv but just in case, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!_**

* * *

The next morning, he was back in his own room when I woke up, the interconnecting doors left open on both sides. I overheard him on his phone telling someone his plans for the day. Clearly, the entire day of activities was a lie, since I was pretty sure he wouldn't be staying within Los Angeles County all day.

We decided to stop at a diner down the road from the hotel for some breakfast.

I placed my drink order first.

"I'll have a nonfat three-pump vanilla latte, low foam and extra hot."

Jess squinted his eyes at me and turned to the waitress.

"What? I like coffee."

He simply shook his head and smirked.

"Did you get all that? She'll have a hot two-pump chump with extra cream."

Bertha—as her nametag indicated—didn't look a bit amused.

"We just have coffee, decaf or regular," she said monotonously, holding a carafe.

"I'll take a black coffee then."

"Make it two," he said.

She poured it into our cups. "I'll be back to take your order."

Jess was laughing at me as he shook a sugar packet.

I crossed my arms. "What's so funny?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"Did you really think you could order your frou-frou drink in a place like this?"

"Who doesn't have lattes? Even McDonald's has them!"

"We'll get you a latte and a Happy Meal for dinner then—with a little toy inside. Will that make you happy?"

Shaking my head, I perused the menu. There was nothing here that I could eat.

"Everything is so greasy."

"Mmm. Bacon. A little fat once in a while won't kill you."

"I've already had my monthly allowance of fat… the chicken bites from yesterday."

"Monthly allowance?"

"Yes. One cheat meal a month." I sighed. "There is not one healthy thing on here. I seriously don't know what to get."

"No worries. I'll order for you."

"What? No."

Jess lifted his finger. "Bertha? We're ready over here."

God, he even had the ability to make that mean waitress blush.

"What'll it be?"

He pointed to the menu. "I'll have this dish you call heart attack on a platter. She's just gonna have an order of plain rye toast, hold the butter."

"Comin' right up."

"All I'm going to be having is dry toast?"

"No. You'll be eating off my plate in no time. You just haven't realized it yet. The toast is merely my way of showing you that you don't really want the things you say you do. And many of the things you deem bad are really those that—deep down—you want the most."

"Oh, really…"

"I see through you. The harder you try to be good, the more you're starving to be bad. Not only are you going to eat some of my greasy food, but you're going to eat it with my cock sauce all over it and love it."

"Excuse me? Your what?"

Jess bent his head back in laughter before unzipping the pocket to his jacket. He slammed a small plastic bottle down on the table. It had a rooster on the front.

"Cock sauce. Also known as Sriracha—a Thai chili sauce. I never travel anywhere without it."

Bertha brought over an oval plate piled high with scrambled eggs, home fries, sausage links, bacon, Canadian ham and corned beef hash. She placed it in front of Jess before handing me the small plate of toast.

He wasted no time squirting lines of the red sauce across the top of his food. He dug in, watching me as I looked at him.

Staring him down, I crunched my toast in an exaggerated bite, determined to keep myself from wanting any of it. Admittedly, I was famished.

To prevent myself from looking at the plate, I pried my eyes upward, focusing on his baseball cap. He'd bought it at the hotel gift shop and was wearing it backwards.

There was something about Jess that just had that Holden Caufield look. Could've been the fact that he reads, as I saw as many books that he could've stuffed in that tiny knapsack of his. Or maybe the sexy motorcycle I saw him hop on. Either way, it was a good look, really worked for him with his hair sticking out of the sides. A ray of sun streamed through the window of our booth, accentuating number thirteen brown again.

 _Damn._

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "You know you want it, Rory."

Huh? Did he catch me checking him out, or was he talking about the food?

He cut a sausage link in half and attempted to feed me with his fork as he flashed a sexy smirk. "Come on. Just one piece."

It smelled spicy… and delicious. Unable to resist, I opened my mouth and let him feed it to me. "Mmm," I said as I chewed the juicy link slowly, closing my eyes and savoring every bite. When I opened my lids, Jess's gaze was fixated on my lips.

"You want more?" he whispered huskily.

Saliva gathered in my mouth. "Yes."

This time, he lifted a piece of bacon and fed it to me from his hand. I hated to admit it, but he was right about that sauce. It was so good on everything.

"More?"

I licked my lips. "Yeah."

Jess fed me three more bites. When I let out a moan, he dropped his fork, and it made a loud clanking sound. "Jesus Christ. The food is good. But it's not that good."

My mouth was disgustingly full. "What do you mean?"

"When was the last time you were really good and rooted?"

"Rooted? What?"

"Fucked, Princess. When was the last time you were properly fucked?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"There is no way you could possibly have that kind of reaction to food unless you were completely hard up." He wiggled his brows. "Logan didn't quite do it for you, did he?"

"That's none of your business."

"Your face is turning redder than this sauce." Jess leaned in and whispered, "Rory… when was the last time you had an orgasm during sex?"

"It doesn't matter."

I was getting more and more nervous by the second.

His tone became more insistent. "How… long… has it been?"

"High school," I practically coughed out. What the hell did I just admit?

"I can't believe I just told you that. Now, I'm embarrassed."

He let out a deep breath. "Don't be. But I'm not gonna lie. I'm truly shocked. A woman like you should be with a man that knows what he's doing."

"Why do you care? You keep saying that, a 'woman like me.' I didn't even think you liked me very much."

Jess leaned back into the booth and glanced out the window before looking me in the eyes. "As much as you're a pain in my ass… I do like you, Rory. You're funny. Not funny ha ha… but funny. You're conscientious. You're quick-witted. You're smart. You're damn cute…" He looked down almost to stop himself from going any further. "What happened anyway?"

"With what?"

"Why are you running from that tool Logan?" When I hesitated, he flagged down Bertha. "Can we have more coffee, please?"

I didn't know what came over me. Maybe it was the hot sauce. A part of me just wanted to let it all out. After Bertha poured two fresh mugs, I started to open up to him.

"Logan was the chief staff editor along with myself at a small start up paper back in New York. I was an intern vying for a job there. We met and he romanced me for a while. Soon, he and I were a couple for a little over a year. We'd moved in together. About two months ago, I found out he was cheating on me with one of his newer interns as I had already gotten a job at the paper. Turns out I wasn't the first one either. There were probably more during our time together too. So, yeah…"

He let out a low whistle.

"So, you moved out?"

"Yeah. Logan has spent every day of the past several weeks trying to convince me that I'm making a mistake, that I'm throwing away my career because he would have made me co-chief of staff sooner than I could do it on my own. I left everything behind, took the first position I got, which happened to be at a small startup paper in California. I'm scared. I don't know anyone out West, and I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'm not even sure if being a journalist is what I even want anymore. I feel very lost." Admitting that last part made me start to tear up a little.

Jess's eyes held a serious intensity that I hadn't previously seen from him. "What are you passionate about, Princess?"

Thinking for a bit, there was only one thing that really came to mind. I let out a nervous laugh. "Not much except…books and movies, I guess. I grew up with those with my mom. I love anything to do with them. I'd originally wanted to be an author, but I'd realized it was nothing but a pipe dream and I was better at hard-hitting stories."

"I wrote a book."

His blurt out seems to surprise the both of us.

"Really?" I asked, almost excited at the thought of anything this man wrote.

"Nothing too serious. Just a short novel. Barely even."

He's almost embarrassed by it. And I see hints of a faint blush creeping its way up his neck and cheeks.

"Could I read it?"

"Maybe sometime." His smirk is once again reinstated and I smile in return.

"How? And when?" I'm still shocked at the notion that he actually published a book.

He takes his cap off and ruffles his hair a bit, maybe just to get over that awkwardness.

"I was an idiot kid, running around, trying to attract attention to myself. I guess one day I was just done running across the country. So I just wrote down everything that was going on in my head at the time which somehow, got myself picked up by the smallest publisher in Philadelphia."

He ends with a shy smile and I feel giddy almost. Maybe it's the fact that I had just poured out what might've been an emotional blocker in my relationships because of Logan or maybe the fact that he felt the need to cheer me up by sharing his (albeit, short) life story.

But I would be sure of this later, this moment was one of the first moments I had fallen in love with him.

"Do you regret it? Regret picking everything up and moving to the farthest side of the country?" His question snaps me out of my reverie.

"Sometimes I feel that way, yes."

He scratched his chin and smiled. "You'll find your way. You will. The shit that happened back in New York, is still too fresh for you to think straight. When you get out to California, the change of environment will do you good. You can take your time, look inside yourself and decide what it is you really want, then make a plan to get there. You are in control of your destiny—except in the next twenty-four hours. I'm in control of it for now." He winked and flashed a devious smile. "You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

"I guess I am." I smiled. This guy was starting to grow on me, and that was making me really uneasy. I didn't even know anything about him. "Your turn. Who are you, Jess Mariano? Tell me the full story."

"Well, I lived in New York until I was 17. Had the usual partying and things you definitely shouldn't be doing at 17."

I let out a small chuckle. "That's really cool."

"It was for a while… until it wasn't anymore." He swallowed, his expression turning sullen.

"What do you mean?"

"It's a bit of a long story."

My phone rang, interrupting the conversation. It was Logan. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I flipped it around to show Jess the caller I.D.

He took it from my grasp and answered, "Logan! It's been a while!"

Logan's voice was muffled. "Put Rory on the phone."

"Rory and I were just talking about you! We were out to breakfast, and she picks up one of these tiny sausage links and says, 'See this here? This is just about Logan's size.' I damn near pissed myself. Good job, buddy! Or should I say _big_ job? Oh, wait. It's not big."

He sounded irritated through the phone. "You fucking asshole. Tell Rory if she's taking up with trash like you—"

Jess hung up the phone. "Ready to go?"

"That was awesome." I high-fived him after he lifted his hand. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Bye, Bertha!" Jess winked at our waitress.

"Bye, hot stuff."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head in laughter as I followed his hot ass out the door.

It was a beautiful, clear afternoon. I told Jess I wanted to drive this round. In all honesty, I needed a break from staring at his eyes and stubble for a while. My unwanted attraction to him was really starting to make me uncomfortable. Having control of the radio was also a plus to being in the driver's seat.

"Michael Bolton? Really, Rory? You're gonna make me sit through this?"

"What? He's good! His voice is… hearty… robust!"

Jess started singing loudly over the lyrics to When a Man Loves a Woman. He actually sounded amazing.

Soon after, we stopped for gas, and Jess went inside the mini-mart to get us some snacks after he finished pumping my fuel.

When he reentered the car with a large paper bag, I looked over at him and froze just as I was about to turn the ignition.

He had powder under his nose.

Shit! Was he a coke head? Had he gone to the bathroom to snort it?

"Are you gonna start the car sometime today?" he chided.

My breathing became labored as I geared myself up for a major disappointment. "Tell me the truth."

"Alright…"

"Were you doing drugs in the bathroom?"

His eyes darkened. "What the fuck?" He was angry. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You have powder under your nose!"

He closed his eyes and suddenly erupted in laughter that lasted for at least a minute. He'd never laughed so hard in the time I'd known him. Jess kept trying to speak but would keep losing it, having to clutch his chest. He looked at himself in the sun visor mirror and swiped the powder from above his lip.

Practically shoving his finger into my mouth, he said, "Taste."

I pushed it away. "No!"

"Taste!"

I hesitantly ran the tip of my tongue along his finger. It tasted like grape Kool-Aid or something. "It's sweet."

He opened the paper bag and took out one of those Pixy Stix with powdered sugar inside and threw it at me. "Your cocaine, madam."

Relief washed over me. I also felt stupid. "Pixy Stix? You like these?"

"I love them, actually."

"That's pure sugar. I haven't eaten one of these since I was a kid."

"They were all out of Fun Dip, so these had to do." He looked down. "I can't believe you thought I was snorting coke. I'm not perfect by any means, but I've never done drugs in my life. It's the one thing I've stayed away from." Jess looked seriously hurt by my assumption.

I still hadn't started the car. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. It's just… I don't really know you."

"So, get to know me," he said softly.

We were silent for a while before I spoke, "Why are you headed to California?"

"I live there."

I knew what I really wanted to ask but wasn't sure why it mattered so much. My heart started to pound. "Who were you talking to on the phone this morning?"

He looked startled by my question. "What?"

"I overheard your conversation from my room. You were telling someone your plans for the day. You lied and said you were in Los Angeles."

It took him a while to answer. "It's complicated, Rory." Then, he seemed to shut down and turned toward the window.

"Well, this was a good conversation. I'm glad I asked," I said bitterly as I started the car and took off toward the highway.

We sat in silence for a long while. Jess looked tense and kept sucking down the Pixy Stix one by one. After about a half-hour, I decided to break the ice. "How do you keep a body like that eating the way you do?"

"Is that your way of saying you like my body? You like what you see?"

"I didn't say that exactly."

"Not exactly, but you implied it."

"Jackass."

"Lots and lots of sex, Rory. That's how I do it."

"Really? That's it?"

"No. I just wanted to see your face turn that pretty shade of pink it does when you're embarrassed." He snickered. "In answer to your question, I work out a lot, and I don't eat like this every day. But on road trips, all dietary rules go out the window. You need to be able to eat what you want to keep sane."

"Well, from what I see, you're pretty insane, so it's not working."

He smiled at me, and I returned it. The aftermath of our tense conversation from earlier finally seemed to have faded away. "Give me one of the packages of pretzels, please."

He took one out of the paper bag and handed it to me then looked behind his shoulder to my packed backseat. "What do you have in all these bags back here, anyway?"

"Don't touch my stuff."

"I bet there are some treasures in this junk that would tell me everything I ever needed to know about you."

He started to blindly grab things out of my bags. "Oh, a book! Yes, finally! Let's see, shall we? _Happy Bitch: The girlfriend's straight-up guide to losing the baggage and finding the fun, fabulous you inside._ "

"Put that back and don't touch that bag again!"

"Alright. But what exactly are you hiding in this one that's so bad?"

Shit.

Jess kept digging. "What's this now?"

Oh no!

He pulled out my lifelike flesh-toned vibrator. "Princess… is this a silicone cock in a bejeweled case? No wonder why you didn't mind that Logan couldn't do it for you. You were taking it into your own hands and into your own—"

"Give me that!"

He took it out of the case. "Oh… this thing is pathetic. We could do a lot better than that."

"Jess… seriously, I'm not joking. Hand it over… now!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all pleasure ourselves."

The events that followed seemed to happen in quick succession. He kept waving the dildo around as I tried to grab it. A truck driver that noticed it honked at us. The car was swerving. Then, I saw it. It was standing in the middle of the road with frightened eyes, frozen like a deer in headlights. I suddenly cut the wheel hard to the right, driving straight into an embankment, not knowing if I had killed him.

"Is he breathing?" I held my own breath hovering over Jess until I saw the rise and fall of its little stomach. It had shaggy long hair and was spotted like a cow, but its eyes bulged from its head more like a frog. The poor goat was only a baby. One I'd just raced into with my car while fighting over a damn vibrator.

At first, I didn't actually think I'd hit him. But then I watched in horror as he fell straight over, all four legs standing straight up stiff, like something out of a bad movie. Now we were both standing over him, waiting for something to happen, neither of us quite sure what to do.

Without warning, the goat flipped himself and was suddenly standing on all four feet. Startled, we both jumped back. Jess's arms spanned wide as if to protect me from a killer beast.

The baby goat took a few cautious steps, and then proceeded to walk directly into my BMW, as if the two-ton mass of steel wasn't even there. "Oh my God. I must have hurt his head. Look how confused the poor thing is." I reached out to touch the wounded animal, and Jess grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to pick him up. Look at him. He's hurt. I ran him over." I skirted around Jess and leaned down on one knee, extending my hand in peace to the sweet little goat. "And it's all your fault."

"My fault?"

"Yes, your fault. If you hadn't been distracting me, I would have been paying more attention to the road, and this would have never happened." The goat nuzzled into my hand. "Oh my God. Look how cute he is." I petted the top of his head, and he snuggled even closer.

"It's not my fault. If you weren't so uptight about your sexuality, you would have been calm when I found your magic wand."

I stopped petting the goat's head. "I am not uptight about my sexuality."

Jess folded his arms across his chest. "Admit that you pleasure yourself then. I want to hear you say it."

"I will do no such thing."

"Uptight."

"Pervert."

"A pervert is someone who has sexual behavior that is wrong or unacceptable. That's your problem. You think pleasuring yourself is wrong. I find it perfectly acceptable. In fact, I rather like the thought of you using your little magic wand."

I was pretty sure my eyes resembled the poor goat's—bulging from my head. Just then, a truck whizzed by us. One of those double trailers that always made me nervous to drive near. A whoosh of wind in its wake reminded me how close to the road we actually were.

"Come on. It's dangerous out here," Jess said.

"What are we going to do with Esmerelda?"

"Who?"

"Him." I scratched my nails behind the goat's ear, and he made a low humming noise that sounded like he was saying, "mommmm."

"Let him go." Jess waved his arm in the direction of the wooded area behind him. "Back where he came from. He's fine."

"He's not fine."

"Looks fine to me."

"I think he has a head injury."

Jess shook his head. "He's fine. Watch." He clapped his hands and made kissing sounds as if he were calling a dog. "Come on buddy. This way."

Esmerelda made no effort to move, quite content with his head pressed against my chest and his body between my legs.

"You need to let go of him."

"I'm not holding him here."

"Not physically. But he's got his head buried between your cleavage and his body between your thighs. No male is going to walk away from that willfully."

"See. Told you. Pervert."

Another truck flew past. This time he sat on his horn as he breezed by, and I went from squatting down to tumbling back onto my ass. The goat… well, he took one step and fell over again—all four legs stood straight up in the air. I couldn't believe I'd damaged such an adorable baby goat.

"See. He's hurt. We can't leave him here."

"What do you expect us to do for him? Belt him into the backseat of the car and take him to a veterinarian for a full work up?"

Two hours later, we were finally pulling off the highway in Sterling, Colorado to take our passenger to the Sterling Animal Hospital. It had taken Jess nearly a half-hour to unpack and repack the back of my car to make room. He wasn't happy about it.

"Snowflake?"

"No."

"It's from the children's book…"

"Heidi. Yes. I know."

"You do?"

"What? You just assume I'm uneducated because I don't walk around with a stick up my ass like your Logan?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh yeah? So what made you assume I wouldn't know a classic literature story?"

"I don't know. You just don't seem like the type. You seem more into that punk-writing era. The one with the beatniks and all."

"Well maybe you should stop typecasting people. Not everyone fits into neat little compartments you know."

We were both silent for a while, with only the woman's voice from my GPS interrupting occasionally to direct us to turn.

"Mutton."

"Excuse me?"

"For the goat. A name."

"We are not naming him mutton! That's sadistic!" We'd been arguing over names for the last hour or so. I favored names from Greek mythology or classic literature, whereas Jess wanted to name him one of the many dinners the poor baby could be turned into.

We arrived at the animal hospital, pulling up to an open spot right in front of the door. I made Jess carry the little guy, even though the door was only about ten feet away. Holding Esmerelda Snowflake, he looked… hot.

Was I that demented? Because I actually thought he was even sexier carrying a goat.

Inside, the women at the front desk confirmed it wasn't just me. Their eyes feasted on the bulge of his biceps as he carried our injured passenger to the front desk. He was quite the sight. I started to smile. Until he spoke.

"My friend slammed her BMW into this little guy while she was trying to get a grip on her vibrator." He smirked at me and winked at the receptionist. She blushed. I wanted to punch him.

"I'd like to get him checked out. I didn't think I hit him, but he just seems…off."

Jess snickered and mumbled under his breath, "He's not the only one."

Fifteen minutes later, we finally saw a doctor. He checked out the goat as if it were an everyday occurrence. One hand held him down on the examining table, the other pressed on his belly, checked his eyes, and wiggled all four legs. It seemed like a thorough physical to me.

"Everything seems to check out just fine. He has the usual congenital myotonic symptoms, and he probably suffered from a thiamin deficiency at some point. But those conditions don't come from a car accident. In fact, I don't see any signs that this little guy was even hit. It was probably just the fainting."

"The fainting?"

The doctor chuckled. "This here is what is commonly known as a fainting goat. It's a genetic disorder. Popular around these parts. Some farmers even show them. They faint when they get nervous. All the muscles in their bodies freeze up, and they basically just tip over. Only lasts about ten seconds. Doesn't cause any pain, but it's unusual to see for the first time."

"But… he's confused, too. When he got up, he walked straight into my car. And kept banging into things during the drive here."

"Well, that's likely because he's blind, too."

"Blind?"

"Thiamin deficiency, I'd guess. Unfortunately, it's becoming a more common problem. Improper feeding, particularly too much grain and too little roughage. Greedy farmer trying to fatten up the animal quickly. One of the side effects of the deficiency is blindness."

"Let me get this right," Jess said with a skeptical tone. "We didn't hit the goat, but he faints when he's scared and he's blind."

"That's right."

Jess erupted in laughter. It was the second time I'd seen him lose it in the last twenty-four hours. His chest heaved, and a deep throaty sound echoed through the room. I couldn't help it. It got to me. Next thing I knew, I was hysterically laughing. too. We laughed so hard, tears streamed down our faces.

"What are we supposed to do with him?" Jess chuckled as he spoke to the doctor.

"Whatever you want, I suppose."

"Where do we bring him?"

"Bring him?"

"Is there, like, a shelter for animals we can bring him to?"

"For goats? Not that I'm aware of. Although there are quite a few farmers around. You can probably get one of them to take him in as part of their herd."

"The same type of farmer that tried to fatten him up to make a quick buck and blinded the poor thing?" I asked.

"Well, there are good farmers out there and bad. Just like anything else."

"And how do we tell the good from the bad?"

The doctor shrugged. "You don't."

* * *

We'd been in the car almost ten hours already. Jess was driving, and our new passenger was sound asleep in the back seat, actually snoring. I didn't even know goats snored. "We should stop soon. It might take us a while to find a hotel that allows pets."

Jess's eyebrows shot up. "Pets? You think we're going to find a hotel in the middle of nowhere that accepts goats?"

"What choice do we have?"

"He's staying in the car tonight, Rory."

"He most certainly is not." I folded my arms over my chest. "He cannot stay locked in a car overnight."

"Why not?"

"Because…" I was angry he was ready to leave the goat in the car without so much as a blink of an eye. "Because what if he gets scared?"

"Then he'll faint." Jess chuckled.

"That's not funny."

"Sure it is. Come on, Rory. Lighten up. You being uptight is what got us into this mess in the first place."

I had no idea where it came from; the confession just blurted itself from my lips, "I pleasure myself. Okay? Does that make you happy to hear?"

Jess grinned. "As a matter of fact, it does." He shrugged. "I pleasure myself too, Rory. In fact, the next time I rub one out, I'm going to picture you."

He did not just say that? I was appalled. But also sort of turned on. I opened my mouth to say something back to him, then closed it. Then opened it.

Jess glanced over at me and then back to the road. "Well, well, well, Rory. Whatta ya know. You fancy me pleasuring myself to your pretty face."

"I do not."

"You do, too."

"I do not." I totally do.

Surprisingly, Jess let it drop. He pulled off to the side of the road into a parking lot of what looked like a nicer version of Wal-Mart. It was an oversized warehouse of a store, only the front had a stone façade. Cabela's The World's Foremost Outfitters.

"What are we stopping for?"

"Supplies." He parked the car. "I'll be out in ten minutes. You can stay with Billy the Kid so no one steals him."

I was outside the car stretching when Jess returned, both of his arms filled with bags. I bent at the waist, finishing a rotation of stretches and leaned to my right to greet him.

"What is all that?"

He didn't respond for a minute. I bobbed up and down slightly, leaning into my bend and then looked up at his face to find what had made him quiet. He was looking right down my shirt. It wasn't his fault; I was basically putting it on display right before his eyes. My shirt gaped in the front giving him an eyeful of my cleavage. I stopped bouncing. Eventually, his eyes lifted and found mine watching him. Our eyes locked. I knew that look. I'd seen it before. In the mirror after I'd gotten a look at his ass.

He shook his head and blinked a few times. "Gear."

"What kind of gear?"

"Tent, lantern, kindling wood, sleeping bags." He shrugged. "Basic camping supplies."

"For what?"

"Camping."

"You're going camping?"

He shook his head and shoved the bags wherever he could find any free space. The trunk and backseat were packed to the brim when I started this trip. And now I had an extra passenger, a goat… and apparently camping gear. "We're going camping."

"Ummm… I don't camp."

"Then Curry over here." He pointed to the backseat. "Is sleeping in the car." Jess closed the trunk, and his hands went to his hips. "What's it going to be, Rory? Camping or he sleeps in the car alone."

* * *

"I take it you've done this before?" We'd only been at the campsite for a half hour, and Jess had already started a fire and was almost done pitching the first tent.

"Those days I told you about, when I used to Kerouac it around the place, there were some days when I didn't have enough for a hotel. I'd usually end up under the stars on those nights. And it wasn't fake like this one."

"Fake?"

"No numbered campsites, bathrooms and security. I did real camping. Just me, a pillow and a sleeping bag. What about you? What soured you to camping?"

"Nothing. I've just never done it before. Jess finished putting up the first tent and stepped back, admiring his handywork. "That tent's huge."

"Not the first time I've heard that," he snickered.

I shook my head. "Why did you buy such big tents?"

"Damn it!" Jess yelled as he swatted what must've been the tenth mosquito from his face. The boisterous sudden rant scared poor Esmerelda Snowflake, and he froze in place and proceeded to tip over and faint. We got a good laugh over that one.

Jess threw some more wood on the fire and sat down. "What about the other tent?" I asked, looking over the fire at him. I really hoped he wasn't expecting me to attempt to figure that one out myself.

"What other tent?"

"You only bought one tent?"

He pulled a Pixy stick out from his back pocket and tilted his head back, shaking some of the sugary powder into his mouth. "Tent has two rooms. There's a divider. You and your son can sleep on one side. I'll sleep on the other."

I didn't really have a right to complain, seeing as he was doing all the work and paid for all of the supplies. So I didn't, for a change.

We munched on what would normally be a month's supply of carbs for me and sat around the campfire. Jess peeled a stick with a pocketknife and popped a marshmallow on the end before offering it to me. He really was good at this stuff.

"So, I'll be sharing a tent with you tonight, we adopted a pet together, and I don't even know what you do for a living?" I asked.

"I guess you can say I'm retired."

"Retired?" At what? Twenty-two?"

"Twenty-three," he corrected.

"Oh. Well that makes it better." It was dark, even with the light of the fire. I lifted my roasted marshmallow to check it. The color was browned nicely on one side, the other side was still white. I flipped the stick to even out the marshmallow.

"So what did you retire from?"

"Writing."

"You wrote professionally? I thought it was a one-time thing. "

"Well, not for long."

"What happened?"

"Couldn't write anything. Mainly couldn't live with the new publishers."

"You couldn't go to a different company?"

"It was strange for me."

"I'm sorry. How long did you get to write for?"

"A few books. Nothing really big."

"Few books? You mean you stopped writing after just a few books?"

"Yeah. The publisher was just getting more and more demanding and at one point I wasn't getting the same happiness I used to get from writing a chapter."

"How long ago was that?"

"We had a three-year contract. I tried a book alone at self-publishing but it wasn't the same. Retired at nineteen."

"Wow. That sucks."

He smiled.

"But what do you do now?"

"I still get money off of it, so I don't have to work a nine to five or anything. But I spend my days making junk art."

"Junk art?"

"Some people call it recycled art."

"I went to an exhibit like that at the Guggenheim. I loved it. I'd love to see your work sometime."

He nodded. Very noncommittal.

"Can I be nosey?"

"You mean more nosey?"

"You're the one who told me to get to know you. Before you made me crash into poor Esmerelda Snowflake, that is."

"You didn't even crash into that thing. And his name is not Esmerelda Snowflake."

My marshmallow was on fire. I blew on it, then slipped it off the stick and took a bite. It was almost liquefied. "Mmmmm."

I noticed Jess was watching me intently. "You want a bite?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Why not? You're the sugar addict."

"I get more enjoyment out of watching you eat it than I would eating it myself." He swallowed. The sight of his throat working made me warm, and it had nothing to do with the fire.

"Anyway. How can you be living off old money if your contract was only a year long?"

He looked away. "Books and merchandise."

"Merchandise? Were you that famous?"

"Haven't we talked about me enough? Logan's been quiet today, hasn't he?"

"Not a chance, Jackass. You blew me off once, and I let you off the hook."

Turns out, I wasn't the only one that thought the mysterious author under the pseudonym of _JM_ was ridiculously talented. At first I couldn't even believe he was one of my favorite authors. I mean I knew he was writing under an alias, but never would I have thought I would be on a road trip with him. Even years after retiring from writing, legions of fans in all over the world were still keeping his merchandise and book sales alive enough for him to live off of. There was something very endearing about him being a little embarrassed of the whole thing.

After a few more hours of sitting around the campfire, we decided to call it a night. Jess set up my sleeping bag for me and then zipped the divider of our two-room tent down. He left me with the lantern, so I could change first.

My clothes smelled like campfire, so I stripped everything off. There was something exciting about standing naked with only a flimsy piece of nylon between us. I might have lingered an extra minute before I put my bra and panties back on. When I was all done, I unzipped the corner of the tent and handed the lantern to Jess.

He gave me a sly grin and zipped the divider back into place. My side of the tent went dark, but as I climbed into my sleeping bag, I realized I could now see everything on his side. It was a shadow, but a very detailed shadow.

He was facing me, standing very still. I wasn't certain, but it felt like he was looking right at me. It was impossible to actually see me through the vinyl divider, but I sensed his eyes on me nonetheless. He reached down to the hem of his shirt and slowly lifted it over his head. The shadow of his body was broad at the shoulders but tapered to a narrow waist. Even though I couldn't see the detail, I imagined what I knew was there. The ridges of his muscular abs, the hard plains of that carved V. My mouth was suddenly dry.

He stood there again for a long moment and then began to strip out of his pants. The sound from the slow unzip of his jeans made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. His thighs were thick and muscular; his boxer briefs hugged his legs like a second skin. I held my breath when his thumbs hooked into the top of his boxers, and he began to peel them off of his body. He bent to slip them off and then stood.

Holy mother of all jackasses. He was hung. The thing was dangling more than halfway to his knees. I took a sharp breath in, realized it was audible, and quickly slapped my hand over my mouth. I kept it there until he was completely dressed, afraid a moan might slip out.

When he was finally done, I watched him climb into his sleeping bag. He rolled onto his side and faced my direction. It made me wonder if he was looking at me. Then he flicked off the light.

"Night, Rory."

Perhaps I could have been imagining it, but his voice sounded as thick and needy as I felt.

"Night, Jess."

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, attempting to regain my wits. Then it dawned on me for the first time… had he just watched me give him the same show and returned the favor?

* * *

 _ **A/N: well, that's this chapter. Hope you enjoyed. Alright k bye. Oh, and leave a review!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**a/n: well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. another chapter of this story? Wonderful! Lol sorry that was weird. anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Sorry it's been a while but here ya go. It's kinda boring but it's more exposition for the story. uhh yeah leave a review.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: seriously ASP if you're stalking fanfiction websites, this isn't mine! I don't own anyone, as much as I'd like to change Jess, this is the only place where I can rewrite him better than the revival. #sorrynotsorry**_

* * *

Where am I? That was the first thought that came to mind as I woke up. After a few seconds, everything registered. Sunlight attempted to permeate the tent. I lightly patted my bedside before my hand tapping on the ground turned frantic.

Where was the goat?

I jumped up out of my sleeping bag.

"Jess!"

"Hmm," he moaned groggily from behind the divider.

"The goat! He's gone." A rush of panic tore through me. "He's gone!"

I zipped the divider down without a second thought.

"Relax. He's here with me."

"Baa." The goat let out that single sound as if to confirm that I had overreacted. My pulse immediately slowed down as I held my hand over my pounding heart. "Oh, thank God."

Jess sat up and ran his hands through his messy hair. Blinking when he looked up, he seemed to freeze. "Jesus Christ. Are you trying to kill me?"

I looked down at myself and crossed my arms over my chest. I'd run over so fast that I hadn't thought about the fact that I'd only slept in my bra and panties. "Shit. Sorry. I was so panicked. I wasn't thinking straight and didn't put anything on."

Utterly embarrassed, I returned to my side and spoke through the closed divider as I started to get dressed. "So, how did he end up over there with you?"

"You were out like a light. He started rustling around, trying to break through to my side. The bugger wouldn't calm down until I let him over here. Slept next to me the rest of the night. Worst fucking breath I've ever smelled in my life."

I couldn't help but crack up at that.

"You think that's funny, eh, Princess?"

"I really do." After throwing my last item of clothing on, I unzipped the barrier again.

Jess was standing before me half-naked only wearing his tight boxer briefs. He glared at me. "Privacy much? What if I'd just walked in on you like that a few seconds ago?"

He'd never looked so sexy, with his bed head and that almost angry look. My eyes unapologetically trailed down the length of his torso, down the thin line of hair leading into his underwear and stopped on his… massive erection.

Oh, God. Now, it made sense why he was suddenly modest.

Clearing my throat, I said, "You… you're…"

"Hard."

"Yes."

"It's called morning wood. I can't be responsible for how I wake up… especially under these conditions."

"Sleeping next to a goat. Did it turn you on?" I laughed.

"I was referring to your impromptu striptease a few seconds ago. And now, you barged over here again before I had a chance to calm the fuck down from it."

"Oh."

"I can only take so much." Jess slipped his pants on.

His stare was burning into mine. He looked even sexier with his arousal straining through his jeans.

As much as I'd felt awkward for putting him in this situation, I loved the idea of being the one responsible for his hard on. In fact, my ability to handle my attraction to him was dwindling pretty fast. With each second that passed, the muscles between my legs were tightening from just the way he was looking at me. These were times I was grateful to be a woman because at least my excitement could be hidden. Still, this wasn't a good predicament. I needed to break the ice.

Clearing my throat, "What are the plans for today?"

He slipped a shirt on. "We need to eat."

"So, we'll get breakfast out?" I stupidly asked.

"Yes, breakfast. What else would I be eating out?"

Uh.

Choking over my words, I said, "No. Breakfast is good. I'm hungry. You?"

"Starving." The look in his eyes implied that he wasn't necessarily referring to food.

I was starving, too.

"Okay, then," I said as I retreated to my side of the tent to cool off.

* * *

It took us about an hour to break down our campsite and pack everything back into my car.

We opted to stop for takeout breakfast at a fast food place that was just before the on ramp to the highway. Jess had gone inside to order our huevos rancheros breakfast burritos and coffee. I used the opportunity to take my phone out and typed into Google: Jess Mariano.

There he was. A plethora of pictures popped up. There was one in particular where he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of dark jeans that were riding dangerously low on his hips. How is an author getting these kind of pictures taken?

The picture showcased his signature sexy smirk that made me squirm in my seat. That cocky smile. Goddammit, he was handsome. There were more pictures with him portraying an easy smile however. I had to hunt for some that weren't all sweet.

That same image seemed to be the one that came up the most. It was also the one that was being sold as a poster for a cool $19.99 plus shipping and handling. There was even a picture of some girl standing next to the poster on her wall pretending to swoon. I suspected there were other people out there playing their own twisted versions of this game with Jess.

Knowing he'd be back any minute, I was reading through old articles and message boards so fast that my eyes hurt. It was definitely evident that Jess was more well-known for his books and his looks than anything else. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for how he'd turned lemons into lemonade, though. Scrolling down, I came across some pictures of him at various book events with the same attractive brunette model. Shane something. A twinge—well, maybe a boatload—of jealousy developed in the pit of my stomach. I never got to read her last name though before a knock on the window startled me.

I tossed the phone aside, and it fell into the driver's seat. Well, more like I threw it over there.

"Open up for your coffee," I heard him say through the window. I took my cup from him as he walked around and got into the driver's seat. "What were you looking at?"

"Um, nothing. I was just…"

Shit.

Before I had a chance to explain myself, he lifted the phone, scrolling through the pictures with his thumb. He then threw it down onto the center console. "Well, now you've seen it all, haven't you?"

"Yes… and it's… pretty amazing."

He let out a single angry laugh. "Amazing, eh?"

"Yes!"

"And tell me, Rory, what exactly is so amazing about working practically your entire life for one single moment and seeing it all go up in flames on the very first try? What is so amazing about being more famous for your failure than your success? You know what was so nice about this trip with you up until now? You didn't see me as that guy that everyone thinks they know, and now you do."

Shit. I'd really upset him.

"I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking those things at all."

"What were you thinking then?"

"I was thinking about how wonderful it was that you could stand up proudly in the face of adversity and still make a name for yourself on your image alone. I was also thinking about how striking you are, if you really want to know. And I was wondering who that girl Shane was. I was curious about everything, yes, but not in a bad way. Not once did I think anything negative."

Jess let out a long, deep breath and muttered, "Let's just go."

I felt so horrible for upsetting him and even though the internet was public, it somehow felt like I had invaded his privacy. More than anything, I felt like I had hurt him, and that hurt me, because whether or not I wanted to admit it, there was an unwanted ache in my chest. I could feel myself falling for him, and that scared me.

An uncomfortable silence clouded the air for the better part of an hour. The only time he'd move his hands from the wheel was to feed Esmerelda Snowflake pieces of hash brown patty dipped in cock sauce. Even the goat liked cock sauce.

At one point, he finally looked over at me. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay. I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."

"I probably would have done the same thing if I were you. It's just… all the stuff online, it's all bullshit. That's not the way to get to know me. If you want to know something, just ask me. Those people that post shit don't really know me."

"I do feel like I know the real you."

"You probably know more than most people. I've been nothing but myself with you from the moment we met. Even though I give you shit, I feel comfortable around you, and that's rare for me."

There was that feeling in my chest again.

"I feel the same about you, and I don't really understand it. I just know I'm really glad that we crossed paths."

He tapped the bobblehead. "Just think…if you'd never picked up Mr. Obama here, who knows where we'd both be right now?" He pointed to the backseat. "Where would this beast be right now?"

"Probably passed out on the side of the road."

Jess glanced back at the goat. "Instead, he's eating our food and sleeping with both of us. No thanks to me. It was all you." He flashed a sexy side glance and startled me when he put his hand on my knee, triggering a sudden rush of desire. "You're sweet. You have a good heart. That prick, Logan, is gonna be sorry someday." When he took his hand away, I longed for its return. What he'd said also sent shivers throughout my body. An indescribable feeling overwhelmed me. I didn't know how to respond, so I turned on the radio. Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys happened to be on.

Jess turned up the volume. "Look at that! They're singing about you and your magic wand, Princess."

I covered my mouth in laughter, and we both cracked up. We'd finally broken through the earlier tension, and that gave me a sense of relief.

After we stopped for lunch and had driven for several more hours, Jess turned to me. "Are you in a rush to get to California by a certain time?"

"I don't start my new position for another week, and the house I'm renting is fully furnished, so not really. Why?"

"Care to take a little detour before darkness falls?"

"Sure. I'd be up for that. What do you have in mind?"

"Somewhere rock hard and deep." He winked.

Well, that piqued my curiosity.

* * *

We parked the car near the perfect spot overlooking the steep rocky walls of the Grand Canyon. Its beauty was overwhelming.

"Oh my God, Jess. I can't believe I hadn't thought of stopping here myself. I've always wanted to see it in person. It hadn't dawned on me that it was right on our way. It's so breathtaking."

I looked over at him and saw that he'd been staring at me instead of out toward the majestic peaks.

"Yeah. It's very beautiful," he said in a low voice.

"Let's take a picture."

With the Canyon as the backdrop, Jess snapped a selfie of us with his phone. He then texted it to me so I'd have it. The snapshot came out so good. The sun was shining into the brown of his eyes, and we both looked so happy and at peace. It made me wish this moment could go on forever, that we never had to leave this place.

As we sat looking out into a blaze of red colors while the sun set over the panoramic scenery, Jess suddenly said, "Tell me about your family."

"My mother lives back in this small sleepy town called Stars Hollow. She wasn't happy about me moving at all. I'm her only child. But ever since she remarried to our local diner owner, I've felt like she hasn't needed me as much. My real father is probably off somewhere in Connecticut with his new family. I grew up with loads of books so journalism was just a natural for me. "

"It's still what you want to do right?" he asked.

"No. It's really not what I wanted."

"What is your dream?"

"I just want to be happy and fulfilled, but I have no clue what that even means anymore or how to get there. So much is up in the air right now for me. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life."

"That's not the worst thing in the world. Sounds like a good time to find yourself, especially since no one is tying you down."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Speaking of which, I think we definitely scared off Logan The Ass for good."

Our laughter at his comment caused an echo.

I stretched my arms and stared up at the sky. "You know what? I'm definitely happy right now. This—our little adventure—has been good for my soul."

He flashed a sincere smile. "You have a good soul. I could see that about you straight away despite your little bitch façade. You know why you're happy?"

"Why?"

"Because you're finally loosening up."

"I guess you took the stick out of my ass while I was sleeping in the tent last night then?"

"Yup. Burned it in the campfire." He nudged me with his shoulder.

I smiled and changed the subject off of me. "What about your family? Where are they?"

Logan paused and scratched his chin. "My dad was never around. Mom said he took off a few years after I was born and moved to California."

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't have a sibling but my best friends Matt and Chris, are kinda close to it. One of them is two years older than me and another is my age. They're my friends from New York. Pretty sure they're planning to move to Philadelphia soon or something. I was already moving out to California anyways."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, but basically, I did some stuff that I wasn't supposed to do for my mom. And once I found out ole papa was living out here in California, I decided I'd pay him a visit."

"God, that's awful."

"I felt a lot of guilt because my mom goes through boyfriends faster than I go through books and one day of her drunks stumbled in and tried putting a hand on her. I couldn't take it anymore."

"Where is she now?"

"She's on her way to moving into my uncle's town at the moment."

"Is she okay?"

"She's straightened up a lot, although she's still a work in progress. She's not with that motherfucker anymore. That's the main thing."

"And your dad?"

"I was on my way to meet that fucker right now as we speak. That's the whole point of this road trip, I guess."

"I'm sorry to hear about your family."

"Thanks."

"I think it was really cool of you to be there for whatever happened with your mom."

"Well, my life had been nothing but selfish up until then. Nothing should ever come before family. I learned that the hard way. They used to mean a lot to me, and now I just don't know anymore."

"They're lucky to have you."

"You'll have one of your own someday."

"I'd like to, but I'm not sure it's in the cards for me. I haven't had the best luck with men."

"Don't tell me there were bigger douchebags than Logan?"

I chuckled. "Along the same lines."

"Let me guess. After you broke up, I bet they all came running back. Am I right?"

Pausing, I said, "Now that I think about it… yeah. I've only had a few serious boyfriends, but they all did come back at one point or another asking for a second chance. How did you figure that?"

"Wild guess."

"I don't understand."

"Girls like you are hard to find."

"Girls like me? Explain."

"Okay. It's not hard to find a beautiful woman, right? Definitely not hard to find a smart woman. And there are definitely some women with good hearts. But in my experience, it's extremely rare to find the whole package."

"Don't even try to say you have trouble finding women, Jess. You could have anyone you wanted."

He squinted his eyes at me. "Is that what you think?"

"Am I wrong? You're not a chick magnet?"

"Crazy psycho bitch magnet, maybe."

"You've never found the whole package?"

"The one time I thought I had, it turned out I was dead wrong. I thought it was love, but in retrospect, it was merely infatuation."

"Was that Shane?"

His expression turned sullen as he looked down. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Shane was my long-time girlfriend."

"Wow. You were going to marry her?"

"Yeah. I was thinking about it."

"She's gorgeous."

"You're prettier," he said without hesitation.

"And you're a fucking liar."

"I have no reason to lie. I've seen her without makeup. I've seen you without makeup. I'm telling you that you're prettier."

From the pictures I'd seen, Shane was beach blonde, curvy and conventionally beautiful. With my unruly auburn hair and lanky frame, I looked nothing like her.

"How can you say that? She's a friggin supermodel. How can I possibly compete with that?"

"Your beauty is more natural. Your hair is out of place and wild and I always want to play with those curls at the end. It's sexy. I mentally play connect the dots with those small freckles that you can barely see around your nose. Your ass is pretty great too."

Feeling suddenly shy, I grinned nervously and briefly looked away before asking, "What happened with her?"

"Well, as you know from you stalking me, Shane was a small celebrity in her own right. I'd met her at a nightclub right around the time we were first signed to the contract. She stuck by me for a while after the writing thing stopped. She really enjoyed the limelight that came along with my sudden and odd fame. But as the months went on, her excitement started to wear off. I wasn't enough for her anymore. When I'd gone through a bit of a depression, I stopped wanting to go out. She kept on with it and eventually took up with one of my editors. She's married to him now with two kids."

"Wow. What a cunt."

Jess bent his head back in laughter. "Princess, did you just use the C word?"

"Yup. First time in my life, but it was worth it."

"I didn't know you had such a dirty mouth."

"Neither did I, but damn, it felt good to say it."

"I liked hearing you say it. I think you should shout it out into the vast wide open canyon in fact."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Do it. Do it! Shout it out."

"Cunt!"

"Say it again louder!"

"Cunt!" my voice echoed.

"Again."

"CUNT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

We heard a thump against the window coming from the car parked just behind us. Jess hopped up to check on things. "Ah, crap. You scared the shit out of Mutton. He just dropped down."

"Oh no."

"That's not all."

"What is it?" I got up and ran toward him.

"When I say scared the shit out of him… I now mean literally. Bugger took a dump all over your backseat."

"What?"

After Jess did his best to clean the mess with some Wet Ones wipes, the mood of our Grand Canyon excursion had officially been ruined. It was getting too dark to enjoy it anyway.

"Do you mind if we don't camp tonight?" I asked. "I'd like to shower and sleep in a bed."

"What do you say we go find a hotel near here, have a nice dinner, hot showers and call it a night? I'd like to sleep in your bed, too."

"What did you say?"

"I said I'd like to sleep in a bed, too."

"Oh."

"What if we can't find a hotel that will let us take him in?"

"We definitely won't. So, we're gonna have to sneak him in."

Jess stopped at a drugstore on the way to the hotel while I waited in the car. When he returned, he handed me a plastic bag containing bottles of water, snacks, duct tape and… diapers.

"You bought diapers?"

"Yes. Huggies Pull Ups. We're figuring out how to put one on him, especially if he's got the runs, and we're taking him into a nice hotel."

"I can't believe I hadn't thought about this problem before. Had he not gone to the bathroom all this time?"

Jess pointed back behind us. "Did you see how much he shit just now? He was backed up for days!"

We both broke out into hysterical laughter, wiping tears from our eyes. When we finally calmed down, Jess started the car and drove toward the highway.

Somewhere in the middle of Arizona, Jess pulled into the parking lot of a pretty high end hotel about ten minutes off the interstate. After I got our room keys, we came up with a plan where I would distract the front desk clerk while Jess snuck the goat in. He'd wrapped him in one of my comforters and sped past the desk and into the elevator.

Jess had the door adjoining our separate rooms open when I got upstairs.

He'd already managed to put two Pull Ups on Esmerelda Snowflake, wrapping some tape around the top to secure them. Jess hadn't noticed me, and I watched as the goat jumped into his arms and licked his face.

"Alright, buddy. Calm down. You're a good buddy, you know that? A good buddy."

"You're being so sweet with him."

Jess turned his head toward me suddenly, surprised to see me standing there. "Bugger's growing on me."

"I know the feeling."

Because you're growing on me.

"I was thinking I'd go out and get us something nice to eat. Do you like wine?"

"I do. I've actually been dying for a glass."

"What kind do you like?"

"Any kind of white."

"I like red. I'll get both."

"That sounds great." I smiled. "Do you know where you're going?"

"This map here says there's a strip of restaurants and a liquor store about two miles down the road."

"Alright. I think I'll take a shower while you're gone."

"Okay. Any special requests for dinner?"

"Surprise me."

He left, and I retreated to the luxurious bathroom. As the hot water poured down on me, all of the emotions I'd been struggling with the past few days seemed to pummel me all at once. It hit me that we were on the final leg of this trip now. I still had no clue if Jess and I would simply go our separate ways once we got to his stop or if he was interested in more. Based on that phone call I'd overheard, clearly, there was something he was keeping from me. I never flat out asked him if there was currently someone else when he admitted to a "complicated" situation. Even knowing that was a possibility, I couldn't help my feelings for him. Jess was the only thing that felt right about my life right now—the only thing that felt like home for as long as I could remember.

I threw a t-shirt on along with some cotton shorts and tried to watch a little HBO while I waited for Jess. Esmerelda Snowflake hopped on the bed next to me. An hour went by, but Jess hadn't returned. With each passing minute, an uneasy feeling grew in my gut.

What if he never came back?

It was a foolish thought. He'd given me no reason to believe that. Still, my reaction was one of slight panic suddenly. Maybe I was just exhausted from the trip, a little delusional. When another half-hour passed, I called his phone. There was no answer.

With each minute, the panic grew, and my eyes started to swell. I couldn't help it. I knew it was probably an overreaction, but I'd already lost control of my emotions in the shower, and his not returning was adding fuel to the fire.

The door suddenly opened, and I rushed to wipe my tears.

"My God, that was a cluster fuck," he groaned.

Jess was holding two bags and dropped them down on the desk in my room when he noticed me frantically wiping my eyes.

"Rory, are you crying? Did something happen?"

"No. No, I'm fine. It's nothing."

He walked toward me. "It doesn't look like nothing. What the hell is going on?"

"You were gone so long. I called your phone, and there was no answer. I started to think maybe…"

Shit.

He blinked repeatedly. "You thought I wasn't coming back?"

"It was just a fleeting thought. Deep down, I knew it was ridiculous but couldn't seem to help it. It's been a long trip, and I think I'm just tired."

Jess gently wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumb. "I'm sorry you got scared." He took my chin in his hands and turned my face to meet his eyes. "I wouldn't do that to you."

My heart raced as he pulled me into him. My body seemed to melt into his solid, warm frame. His heart thundered against mine as he hugged me tightly. I never wanted him to let me go.

When he pulled back, cold air replaced the warmth of his body. "Can we please erase this from memory? I asked. "It was a lapse in sanity." I wiped the last of my tears and sniffled. "What took you so long, though?"

He didn't answer. He was still just looking at me with a serious expression as he examined my face. He seemed to be contemplating something. I couldn't recall him ever looking that serious before. Finally, he said, "I had to go to two different restaurants. The first one told me it would be an hour wait, and the second was no better." He lifted his phone out of his pocket and connected it to a charger. "My phone died. That's why you couldn't reach me."

I shook my head, muttering to myself, feeling so stupid for overreacting.

He handed me a cup. "Let's forget this and have a nice dinner, huh?"

Trying my best attempt at a genuine smile, I said, "That sounds good."

We sat across from each other at the small table in my room as we ate in silence. Jess had ordered three entrees from an Italian restaurant: eggplant lasagna, chicken parmesan and pasta primavera.

He poured wine into the two paper cups. "I know it's a lot of food, but I figured he'd want to eat as well," he said, placing a plate of food on the ground for Esmerelda Snowflake.

The tension in the air never let up all throughout dinner. I just kept pouring more Chardonnay to numb my feelings.

Jess went straight back to his room after we cleaned up. That left me feeling empty and confused, like maybe I'd freaked him out with my crying episode. Having had too much wine, I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, which seemed to be slightly spinning. With my buzz granting me false courage, I got up and opened the adjoining door.

The shower was running while the goat waited outside the closed bathroom door. Lying down on Jess's bed, I curled into the thick down-feathered pillow. When he emerged from the bathroom, he stopped short of the bed. He was wrapped in nothing but a white towel. His thick hair was wet and slicked back. Droplets of water slowly ran down his chest. So overcome with pent up desire, I licked my lips. My heart was beating out of my chest.

"What are you doing in here, Rory?"

I sat up suddenly. "Do you not want me here?"

He closed his eyes briefly then said, "It's late. I think it's better if you go back to your room."

That was not like him.

My stomach dropped. Humiliated couldn't even begin to describe how I felt as I said, "Oh. Yeah. You're right. I didn't realize how late it was."

He just stood there, towering over me with his large hands gripping his sides as I walked past him.

I returned to my room alone, tossing and turning as I ruminated over why all of a sudden he'd turned cold. Jess had sent me so many signals today that he wanted me. We'd opened up to each other. We'd laughed. He'd told me I was pretty. Maybe I misread everything. Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe he was attracted to me but didn't really want me for himself. Maybe the crying freaked him out. I was more confused than ever. The only thing that seemed certain: by the end of this trip, I was going to end up hurt.

* * *

 ** _a/n: yup. that ending just happened. also for those of you that are wondering, this will be an 8 part story. Each part is a chapter, but don't worry there's gonna be a sequel, or a revival if you must call it ;) anyways, keep the reviews coming I love them and thank you guys so much! this ending was made to get the ball rolling. you'll find out more soon!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: hey guys sorry this took so long but I've been really busy with track and my season just finished and CCS is coming up soon. But yeah I'm pretty much done. Anyways I did want to clear up some things because as one of my lovely reviewers had said I have some technical issues._**

 ** _The first issue of Shane being blonde vs Shane being brunette, Shane is definitely blonde. I was just busy writing in a rush at school that I thought I was writing what was Rory's character and then saved, and then went home and finished the chapter with Shane being blonde._**

 _ **The second issue of Jess living in California or him moving out to California. So this one is kinda confusing but my plan was that Jess would've been living in California before he moved to Philadelphia for some publishing work and now he's on his way back to visit Jimmy who has fallen sick. I hope you guys understand and I'm really sorry for the mistakes! I wasn't in the right mind when writing these chapters, clearly.**_

 _ **Anyways I hope that cleared up everything, but if you have more questions, feel free to drop a PM or a review! Hope you guys enjoy this filler chapter that I wrote on my bus**_. **_I will say this is a bit of a filler chapter however. So enjoy!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: come on ASP this is getting old. I don't own jack._**

The next morning was awkward, but not the type of exciting awkward we'd encountered yesterday in the tent. I'd slept like crap, and last night's rejection that left me feeling sad had morphed into anger. We sat at a Waffle House filled with truckers and retirees. I stirred my coffee and let the spoon clank loudly on the table.

"Everything okay, Princess?"

"Fine." I avoided eye contact and stared out the window as I sipped my coffee. It was bitter… and so was I.

Jess leaned back against the booth and splayed his arms along the top of the seat. "I may not be an expert in women, but I know enough about them to know that fine means definitely not fucking fine."

"Well, apparently you don't know me. Because fine means fine."

He ignored me and continued with his analysis of one simple word. "And the speed at which the fine is delivered is directly proportional to the level of pissed off." He drank his coffee and tipped the mug in my direction. "And your fine came pretty damn quick."

The waitress interrupted as we glared at each other. "Everything okay here?"

"Fine," I snapped. My response came so fast and sharp, the waitress was taken aback.

"Sorry. It's her time of the month, and she gets like this." He shrugged, and the waitress looked at him apologetically. I think she actually felt sorry for him.

I waited until she walked away. "Could you not do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make up stories about me."

"I'm not sure it actually was a made up story. You're quite the fucking bitch this morning. Maybe that's your problem. Is it your time of the month, Rory? Is that what's bothering you?"

"I'm not a bitch and even if I had my period, which I don't, it's not the reason why I'm acting the way I am."

"So you admit something is bothering you then?"

"What is this, a deposition? Are you a lawyer now? I thought you were an author."

Jess glared at me; I glared right back. At least I'd sufficiently pissed him off enough to shut him up for the rest of our meal. We ate in unhappy silence and then Austin took the goat for a walk before we started back on the road.

He took the first shift driving. Five minutes into the trip, my phone was buzzing. Logan's name flashed on the screen. "Aren't you going to talk to loverboy?" He asked facetiously, but I answered with honesty.

"No. I make it a point to only be an idiot once. He showed me who he truly was with his actions. It doesn't matter what he says with words now."

His eyes flashed to mine and then back to the road. We were quiet for another hour after that.

"What do you think about another detour? Sin City for a night or two?"

It made me sad to answer, but spending two more nights with him wasn't a smart idea. I was already feeling something he wasn't; putting some distance between the two of us was the right thing to do. "I should probably just get to California."

He actually looked sad about my answer, which confused me even more. "Okay. If that's what you want."

Hours later, knowing it would be our last full day together, a feeling of melancholy settled in. We stopped to fill up and, as usual, Jess was sucking on a Pixy stick when he returned to the car.

"Want one to suck on?" He whipped a fistful of long purple sticks from his back pocket.

"No thanks."

"You sure? You look like you could use a good suck." He winked at me.

"Why do you do that?"

"Eat sugar?" We loaded back in the car. Jess was driving again.

"No. Make remarks with sexual innuendo to them all the time."

"Guess my head is always in the gutter when I'm around you." He pulled away from the pump and navigated out of the parking lot.

"Except last night." I mumbled under my breath, apparently louder than I intended.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Can we not rehash last night? I felt like an idiot enough. You don't have to pretend to be attracted to me to make me feel better today. I'm a big girl."

"What?" His brows drew together. "Is that what you think? That I'm not attracted to you?"

I shrugged and rolled my eyes.

Jess muttered a string of curses and pulled off to the shoulder of the road. We hadn't even made it a mile since the gas station stop. At this rate, I'd never get away from him. He threw the car into park and got out, slamming the door hard behind him. The whole car shook with the strength of his anger. I watched from inside as he paced. He tugged at his hair as he walked back and forth on the dirt, grumbling something to himself. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I didn't need to in order to be sure it was a whole lot of four letter words.

What the hell was he angry for? Because I called him on his crap? Because I'd made him feel bad for rejecting me? I was glad he was pissed because so was I. After a few minutes, I got out of the car, too.

"You know what, get over yourself. Someone finally called you on the little game you play. Being rejected sucks," I scoffed. "Although, I'm sure you don't know the feeling at all."

Jess stopped pacing and stared at me. The muscle in his jaw ticked and he looked like he was near blowing. I wanted him to blow.

"You know what else? Plenty of men find me attractive. I don't even care that you don't. You're no different than Logan. Saying one thing and doing another."

Well that did it. The explosion came. Although, it definitely wasn't the one I saw coming. Jess stalked up to me. He looked so angry. I backed up until I was against the car with nowhere else to go. Then he invaded my personal space. One arm reached out on either side of me, caging me in between him and the car. He lowered his face to mine and spoke with our noses only inches apart.

"You're right about one thing, Princess. I'm not attracted to you."

I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing tears, although inside my heart was slowly breaking. Then he continued.

"Attracted was what I was when I saw you that first day in the store. Playing with that little bobblehead. I thought you were beautiful. Gorgeous even. But now, I'm not attracted to you anymore. Now that I've gotten to know you, it's not attraction."

I wanted to tell him to go screw himself. But even as he was saying terrible things to me, I was mesmerized by him. The way his eyes turned from brown with a hint of gray to gray with a hint of brown when he was angry. The way his chest heaved up and down and damn if he didn't smell good, too. I stood there and waited for the rest of his rant. Because, let's face it, I wasn't capable of doing anything else.

"Now that I see what's really behind that bitchy façade—a woman who was hurt badly yet still willing to put herself out there because deep down she's a romantic—attraction doesn't come close to what I feel when I look at you. You really want to know what I feel when I look at you now?"

Somehow, I managed to nod my head.

"Attraction is way too tame for what happens when I look at you. I want to fucking conquer you. Watch your beautiful face as I sink deep inside of you so hard it borders on pain. I want to bury myself so far that you won't be able to walk for days. The only thing that could possibly be more beautiful than your face when you smile at me, is your face with me inside of you."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. "So yeah, you're right. I'm not attracted to you. It's more like I'm captivated by you."

I was pretty sure he had to feel my heart thundering in my chest, even though our chests weren't touching. "I don't understand then."

Jess lifted one hand to my face and cupped my cheek. He caressed my face tenderly before his hand slid down to my throat. A long moment silently ticked by. My heartbeat was under his thumb when he finally spoke. "I wish things were different."

The next few hours of the drive, my emotions were in turmoil. We were both quiet, although there was no longer an angry tension in the air. I was confused, to say the least. When we started to see the signs for Las Vegas, the only thing that was clear in my jumbled head was that I wasn't ready for this trip to be over.

"If the offer is still open, I'd like to take the detour." My voice was quiet, almost hesitant.

Jess glanced over at me, a solemn look on his face at first, then a slow grin spread wide. "You want to sin with me, Princess?"

Did I ever.

* * *

I couldn't believe we'd found an animal boarding facility to take a goat. The woman at the front desk didn't even bat an eyelash when we'd asked if she could keep our passenger for a night or two. Something told me they'd seen a heck of a lot stranger stuff in Vegas.

We parked at the end of the strip and decided to walk along Las Vegas Boulevard until we found a hotel that jumped out at us. The sun was scorching hot as we walked along the pathway that traveled from one end of the infamous strip to the other. I pulled off my white t-shirt, leaving only a very tight nude colored tank top. I didn't usually walk around that exposed, but the sweat was already beading down my back. Laughing, I draped the t-shirt around my neck and walked ahead of Jess, glancing at him backward over my shoulder.

"Remind you of anything?" I teased, posing exactly how he was positioned in the poster I'd found for sale all over the internet.

"Cute." He shook his head and chuckled. My mood was growing better as we walked. A street mime surprised me as we passed and took my hand. He pulled a flower out from up his sleeve and presented it to me, holding my hand up to his mouth for a kiss. Jess grabbed my hand and tugged me away before his lips could reach my skin.

"Hey. What did you do that for?"

"We're in Vegas, not Kansas. You don't let strange guys put their lips on you." My initial reaction was to be annoyed. Then I realized Jess hadn't let go of my hand after grabbing it. We were walking hand in hand, so I figured why argue if you like the end result.

At the Mirage, we visited the white tigers, at the Bellagio, we watched the water show set to music. We walked for what felt like miles in the hot sun before we stumbled upon the Monte Carlo. A huge sign for the The Pub at Monte Carlo hung from the side of the towering hotel.

Arrogant Bastard.

It was a beer, and we were hot and thirsty. What other sign did we really need to know we'd found where we should stay?

The cold air conditioning inside The Pub hit my sweaty skin causing a chill that shook its way through my body, leaving a small tremor behind. Goosebumps broke out on my arms and legs, and I didn't have to look down to know they weren't the only thing protruding from my skin.

Jess's eyes lingered on my pebbled nipples for a moment but then rose to meet mine. I arched an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Can you put those things away?" He shook his head and forced his eyes down to the bar menu.

"I can't help it. They have a mind of their own. They stand at attention whenever they want."

"I know the feeling," he grumbled while shifting in his seat.

"What can I get you two?" the scantily clad waitress asked. Jess didn't look up but responded quickly.

"Two arrogant bastards, please."

I liked that he didn't even notice the waitress. "So. What do you want to do tonight?"

"The usual. Blackjack, boobs and booze."

"What?"

"When you come to Vegas, you come for three things: playing cards, half-naked women and partying like a rockstar."

A busboy brought us utensils and smiled at me. Jess noticed.

"We already got the half-naked woman covered," he grumbled.

"So, let me get this straight. You like half-naked women. Just not when one of them is me?"

The waitress brought our beer, and Jess chugged half of the oversized mug in one long gulp. God, what is it with me and that Adam's Apple? Watching it, I felt it bobbing in the pit of my stomach.

"I like you half-naked. Just… in the car or a closed tent. Not prancing around town for everyone else to see."

"Were you dating Shane when that poster of you hit the stores?"

He squinted. "That's different."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Me being naked from the waist up, doesn't have the same effect as you walking around with that little flesh-colored tank top with your cleavage bouncing up and down."

I sipped my beer. "Wanna bet?"

Jess's eyebrows shot up. "Princess. Are you being brazen again?"

"Do you like brazen?" I asked with a sinister smile.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You're trying to kill me. I knew it."

We both ate ridiculously large hamburgers and washed them down with our even larger mugs of beer. I was going to need a month long cleanse after this trip.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Jess asked as we headed to the lobby to book rooms.

"Whatever you want."

He stopped short. "That's a dangerous offer, Rory. You might want to amend your answer before I take you up on it."

Between his admission earlier today and the beer leaving me feeling a little tipsy, I was feeling bold. I walked into Jess's personal space and smirked. "Whatever you want. I'm yours to do with what you please tonight."

He groaned, and I pretended I didn't notice him adjusting his shorts a few times as we checked in to the hotel.

* * *

I took less time to get ready for the senior prom than I did getting ready to go out that night. Normally, I tried to tame my naturally wavy hair, but instead I encouraged it to be wild. Smokey eyes and glossed lips matched the sexiness of my open toe high-heeled shoes, and the simple black dress showed off my figure in all the right places. Finally, toting around everything I owned had a perk.

My look wasn't really me, and it definitely wasn't how I'd normally go out at night. But when Jess knocked and I opened the door, any apprehension I'd felt went out the window.

"Fuck." He raked his fingers through his hair.

Inwardly, my peacock feathers fanned. "I just need to grab my bag. Come in."

"No, thanks. I'll wait out here."

If I couldn't have him, I was damn straight going to make sure to rub in his face what he was missing.

A group that looked like they might have been a bachelor party stumbled to the elevator bank as we waited. I sort of loved it when Jess put his hand on the small of my back in an understated possessive gesture. I really loved it when he didn't take it away, even when we walked out on the strip.

"Where are we going?"

Jess hailed a cab and opened the door for me. He answered by means of directing the driver, "Spearmint Rhino, please."

Five minutes later, we were pulling into a parking lot. The neon sign read Spearmint Rhino. But beneath it explained more: A Gentleman's Club. "We're going to a strip club?"

"We are. You said it was my choice all evening." He winked.

Oddly, although I'd never been inside of one, I was more intrigued than put off. The interior was nothing like I'd imagined. I suppose I expected darkness and sticky floors. But instead, I was surprised to find two floors, a grand stage and opulent décor. At first, it seemed more like a swanky nightclub than a place where women took off their clothes. The main stage had seating all around it, and there was a section with long couches for larger parties. Other areas could be curtained off for privacy. Some of the curtains were closed; others were open and inviting. I watched as two attractive women led a man by his hand into a private area behind a door.

My eyes took in everything around me, but when I looked at Jess, he was only watching me.

"Have you been here before?"

He nodded. "A friend's bachelor party last year."

"You mean you don't frequent this place with your dates?"

Jess chuckled and took my hand. "Just you. You still think I'm a womanizer, don't you?"

I let him lead me to a booth in a corner. It was quiet, private almost, but it didn't stay that way for long. A dancer wearing only a g-string, with a body I could only dream about, smiled as she approached. "Would your date like a dance?"

He looked at me, caught my widened eyes and declined graciously. "Not just yet. I think we're going to have a drink first."

He turned his attention to me. "Still okay with me picking what we do all night?"

I rose to the challenge. "Of course."

We shared a bottle of wine that was grossly overpriced, and I actually forgot where we were for a while. I looked around and sighed. "Where do they get all these perfect women from?"

Jess emptied his glass. "I only see one."

"That's sweet. But I can't lift my leg over my shoulder like that one." I pointed to a woman who had to have been double jointed. "So I think she definitely has me beat."

"Thank God."

"Thank God, she has me beat?"

"No. Thank God you can't lift your leg over your shoulder. There's only so much a man can take before he breaks." There was an intensity in his eyes that made me feel like if I pushed a little harder, I could break him. Only, I didn't want to break him. I wanted him whole.

"So. Have I passed your test yet? Or do we have to pay a hundred dollars for another nine-dollar bottle of wine?"

"Just one more thing. Then we can go."

I was almost afraid to ask. "What's that?"

"I'm going to buy you a lap dance."

"And that will prove I'm not uptight to you once and for all?"

"No. But it will sure as hell make my night."

The lap dance was nothing like I expected. It sort of… turned me on, and I didn't know how to process that. I liked men. I never had any interest in women, so it left me feeling a bit confused on the way back to the hotel.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Rory?"

The strip was jam packed like it was nine in the morning in midtown Manhattan, even though it was almost one in the morning in Las Vegas. I'd had a little too much truth serum… I mean wine. I leaned my head on Jess's shoulder in the back of the cab and took an audible breath. "Say my name again, Jess?"

"Princess."

"No, my real name."

"Oh. Uptight Princess."

I jabbed him in the chest with my elbow and laughed. "No really. I like the way it sounds when you say Rory."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, Rory." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.

Snuggled tightly to Jess's side, I dozed for a few minutes in the car. His raspy voice saying my name made me warm all over. It felt so right, it almost hurt to think we wouldn't be with each other all the time soon enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: hey y'all sorry this update took so long but my life's kinda hectic rn and ya girl's got finals soon and my grade is down past salvation. Honestly. But yeah, this is update is gonna have to last y'all a while until I have time to write another._**

 ** _Also big change happening! I'm officially changing this rating to M. As one of my lovely reviewers said, my story is getting a little too hot to be T rated anymore. :( so from this update on it'll be M rated! Hope y'all understand and continue to look for my story!! And now without further ado, here's chapter five!_**

 ** _Also also, a huge thank you to my reviewers! You guys are literally so amazing! I love everyone and keep doing what you're doing!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: oh my gosh, do I need to really do this? ASP I don't own anything!_**

* * *

The knock at my door came at eight in the morning. I was awake but definitely not awake enough to go into a gym. What was I thinking when I'd agreed to go? I was way too amenable last night. The alcohol had smoothed out my edges temporarily, but this morning I was feeling wrinkly again.

"It's too early," I groaned after finding Jess already dressed in his workout gear. He looked sexy as all hell in his low hanging running shorts and sneakers, but even that wasn't enough to help my dragging ass. He caught the door as I turned back to my bed and slipped back under the cover.

Jess ripped the toasty blanket off of me.

"What the hell?"

"Rise and shine, Princess."

"I don't feel like getting up."

"You'll feel better after we do it."

I cocked an eyebrow and he smirked. "Ah. I think I've corrupted you. Who's the pervert now?"

"A pervert is someone who has sexual behavior that is wrong or unacceptable." Word for word, I recited the definition he'd given me when we were arguing over my not admitting to masturbating.

He chuckled. But also scooped me up from the bed and carried me to the bathroom. "Did you see the size of that burger you ate yesterday? I need to go the gym, and you're coming with."

I pouted. "Are you telling me I'm fat?"

"Not at all. I'm telling you I like looking at that shapely ass of yours and I'm selfish. I want to keep it that way."

I rolled my eyes but went into the bathroom and washed up. When I came out, Jess was lying in my bed, both his hands behind his head as he leisurely watched an author debut his new book.

"Do you miss writing?" I asked. It was a stupid question. I regretted it the minute it came out of my mouth.

"I do."

"Can you get back into it somehow? Maybe do something else that has to do with the writing business?"

"I've thought about that."

"And—"

"I never actually finished my education. I dropped out of high school. Most universities and even high schools want their teachers to be educated. Sets an example for the students."

"So go back to school."

"I suppose I could. Might keep me busy for the next two or so years."

I walked to the suitcase and got out my little workout top and matching spandex leggings. "I'll just be a minute. I need to change."

Inside the bathroom, I pulled my hair back and dressed in my workout gear. I yelled to Jess through the bathroom door as I brushed my teeth. "What are we doing? I like yoga."

"Yoga isn't a real workout. I usually weight train and run on the treadmill for forty-five minutes for my cardio."

"Okay. Maybe the gym will have both, and we can do our own thing." I opened the bathroom door and walked out, ready to go.

"That's what you're wearing to the gym?"

I looked down. My tummy was bare, but I didn't think it looked too suggestive or odd. "What's wrong with this?"

"Nothing." He turned off the TV and grabbed my hand on the way to the door. "Guess I'm doing yoga today, too."

We actually compromised in the gym. He took a yoga class with me, and then we ran on side-by-side treadmills for a half an hour. After, we were both starving. Last night, we'd talked about staying another night, so I broached the subject on the way to breakfast. "Were you serious about wanting to stay again tonight?"

"I'd stay forever if we could." Those little things he said gave me hope, even though he'd all but written the words never gonna happen on my forehead.

"Well, then tonight is my night. You got to pick what we did last night. Now, it's my turn."

Jess squinted and held my gaze for a heartbeat too long. "I'm game."

"Great." I smiled. "I want to go visit Esmerelda Snowflake this morning. She's probably scared."

"We're paying a pampered pet place eighty dollars a day to babysit that thing. They give him three squares, and it sleeps in air conditioning, when it normally lives outside and walks in front of speeding BMWs. And you're worried it's scared this morning?"

"It's my day. Did I complain when you got to pick whatever we did?"

"I only got a night. Why is it that you're getting a whole day and night?"

"Because."

He chuckled. "Good answer, journalist. Do you argue that well in interviews?"

"Shut up." I grasped for something. "I get a whole day and night because you made me go to a strip club and get a lap dance."

"Table for two," Jess said as we arrived at the hostess station of the buffet. Then he turned his attention back to me. "You liked it. I think you even got a little turned on."

"I did not." My face reddened.

Jess spoke to the hostess as she seated us. The woman was probably in her late sixties, not that he cared. "She got a lap dance from a stripper last night and won't admit to liking it."

The woman smiled and shook her head. Her Jamaican accent was thick when she spoke. "No shame here, sweetheart. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. You enjoy a little shakity-shake if you want to. Can go back to being your conservative self on Monday. I'll grab you some coffee, and you can help yourselves to the buffet whenever you're ready." She walked away.

"Come on. Admit it. You liked it. That woman's ass grinding down on you." Jess shrugged. "I know I liked it."

"Why do you enjoy making me admit things that are embarrassing?" I'd already confessed one embarrassing thing; I had no intention of offering anything else.

"You mean like when you admitted you pleasured yourself?"

I felt the temperature on my face heat. I stood to head to the buffet line, even though I'd just sat down. But Jess grabbed my wrist and stopped me. "Don't ever be embarrassed by pleasuring yourself or enjoying a lap dance. It's beautiful, and so are you."

* * *

Taking an early afternoon stroll, we'd just returned back from visiting the goat. Sweet boy got really excited and jumped all over Jess, licking his face when we arrived. Poor thing probably thought we were never coming back.

"Esmerelda Snowflake was so cute when he saw you."

"My face is still sticky from that attack."

"You know you missed him." I chuckled.

"What are we gonna do with that thing anyway?"

"That thing? Don't refer to him like that. He's like our adopted child."

Jess came to a halt and looked up at the sky, cracking up. "Our child?"

"Yes! He has no one but us in this entire world."

"Seriously, though, Rory. After we part ways, what are you going to do with him? You can't keep him."

My heart suddenly dropped.

 _After we part ways._

My mind was trying to grapple with the fact that he'd implied that this trip was definitely it for us. In typical Jess fashion, just when he'd given me a little bit of hope that something was developing between us, he'd go and ruin it.

I was silent for a while before I forced myself to speak. "I'm gonna try to find a farm that I trust. I'll keep him with me somehow until I'm certain it's the right fit."

"Fair enough. He's lucky to have you." He was searching my face, trying to read my sullen expression. "Have you thought about what you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?"

"You know what? I really don't care. You decide."

Jess stopped walking again and turned to me. "Wait. You want to forfeit your ability to choose whatever we do today? Why on Earth would you do that?"

Because you just basically admitted that I mean nothing to you, and I don't really want to be around you at all right now.

"I'm just not in a decisive mood."

"There's a dark cloud in the air, Princess. I don't know what I did or said this time, but I feel like I know you well enough now to know that something suddenly pissed you off."

"Drop it, Jess, okay? We don't have much time left here. Don't waste it trying to read me. Sometimes people get into bad moods. End of story. Just pick something."

His face turned serious. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I promise."

He scratched his chin as we stood facing each other in the crowded promenade. "I think I have just the idea of what you need, something that's going to relieve all of the tension that has been building up inside of you over the past few days."

"Oh really?"

He wiggled his brows. "Oh yeah. Wait here." He walked away to make a phone call out of earshot.

As I stood there in the middle of the dry heat, I vowed to try to keep my mood in check moving forward. I had to accept this situation for what it really was—a road trip, nothing more, nothing less. I needed to enjoy these last hours with him and stop overreacting.

Upon his return, his mouth spread into a wide smile. Those dimples. A reminder that my new stance wasn't going to be easy.

Grabbing my hand, he said, "Come on."

I had no idea where he was taking me. I couldn't have told you if it was out to ice cream or up to his bedroom. After a five minute walk, we ended up back at the hotel. Following him into the elevator, I noticed that he pushed the button for a different floor than where our rooms were located.

"What's on the third floor?"

He winked. "You'll see."

When the doors slid open, I saw the sign: Tranquil Waters Spa.

"We're going to the spa?"

"Well, we're getting you a rub down."

Before I could ask him to elaborate, he walked up to the receptionist. "Couples massage appointment under Mariano."

I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head. "Couples massage?"

"Yes. We're getting one together. I could use some tension relief myself."

An attractive woman approached and batted her eyelashes at Jess. "Right this way."

Bitch.

We followed her down a long hallway and into a room with dimmed lighting. "Take off everything but your underwear and wrap yourself in these towels," she said. "Your masseuses will be in shortly."

It was completely quiet except for the sound of soothing instrumental music. The room smelled like mint, and there were flickering electric candles sparsely arranged around the space. It would normally be a relaxing experience were it not for—

"You heard her. Take off your clothes," Jess said gruffly.

A chill ran through me upon hearing the dominant tone of his voice.

"Do you really think I'm going to just disrobe in front of you right now?"

Instead of answering my question, he grabbed at the material of his shirt. I watched every movement of his rippling ab muscles as he slowly lifted it off. If that vision were a gif on tumblr, I would have replayed it over and over.

He unzipped his jeans and slid them down before tossing them on a chair. He stood before me in nothing but navy boxer briefs as he blatantly stared at my chest. "Your turn."

"Turn around then," I said softly.

"Do I have to?" he joked and flashed a wry smile before he moved to face the wall.

Removing my tank top, I stared at the defined muscles of his back and then down to his ass. He was standing right under one of the bulbs of the recessed lighting. It shined onto his delicious derriere like a spotlight. The crack in the middle of it was perfectly outlined through the fabric. He had the most phenomenal ass. I wanted to bite it. Whoah. This guy is doing things to me.

When I unsnapped my bra and threw it on top of where his jeans were strewn, his breath hitched.

I wrapped myself in the plush white towel and lay down stomach first onto my table. This was supposed to be a relaxing experience, but I definitely felt a little nervous.

"You can turn around."

"You're no fun," he said as he lay down on the table next to me.

"What did you expect me to be standing in front of you stark naked?"

"One can only dream."

We were both on our stomachs with our heads turned toward each other. His eyes would occasionally travel down the length of my body.

He whispered, "You okay, Princess?"

Something about the tone of his question tugged at my heartstrings. I mentally cut them with an imaginary scissors. I was going to stick to my vow to keep my feelings in check if it killed me. "Yeah. I'm okay." When he raised his eyebrow skeptically, I smiled. "Really. I am. This was a good idea. Thank you."

"I'm glad you're pleased."

After ten minutes of waiting, I was starting to wonder if they'd forgotten about us when the door slowly creaked open. A small Asian woman named Anna walked around to the other side of Jess. To my left was a large, muscular man who resembled the actor Joe Manganiello.

Jess's eyes darkened, and he turned to the woman. "He's gonna do her?"

"At least someone's gonna do me," I muttered under my breath.

I didn't expect him to but he heard my little comment anyways. He shot me a look somewhere between confusion and jealousy.

"Yes. We find that it works best this way. Men tend to be more comfortable with a female masseuse, and our female clients really enjoy James. Is there a problem?"

Jess was just looking at me, his mouth agape.

"No. No problem at all," I answered, looking straight into Jess's eyes. "I prefer a man."

James' voice was low and deep. "Please unwrap your towel and slide it off. You can stay on your stomach."

This was too good to be true. Asshole's plan totally backfired.

Jess's eyes were glued to every movement as I removed the towel from under me. Then, his gaze landed on the sides of my bare breasts pressed against the table.

Anna dripped hot oil down the length of Jess's back. He should have been closing his eyes and relaxing. Instead, he was looking straight at James pouring the same oil on me. I could see his back rising and falling as his breathing quickened.

James started to rub the oil into my skin. At one point, his hands were massaging the very bottom of my back and were practically kneading the top of my ass. Jess's gaze then turned into more of a death stare. He was seriously pissed, but I couldn't help feeling happy about it.

Watching the woman touching Jess in the same way was also getting me very riled up, but I was too preoccupied with his observing me to figure out whether I was jealous or turned on. Probably both.

After several minutes of watching Jess follow every movement of James' hands, I couldn't help but ask him, "Are you okay?"

His voice was hoarse. "No."

He was seriously burning with jealousy. I couldn't figure him out. If he only knew that the entire time, I kept imagining it was him touching me. I wanted that more than anything.

"How much longer?" Jess asked the woman.

"Try to relax, sir. You're extremely tight."

Forty-minutes later, our massages ended. Jess hadn't taken his eyes off James' hands the entire time. I suppose the only reason I knew that was because I hadn't taken my eyes off of him watching me.

Things were extremely quiet when Anna and James left us alone to get dressed.

Jess's back was toward me when I asked him, "How do you feel?"

"Tighter than when I walked in."

"Why is that?"

"Because I just paid 350-dollars to watch a man touching you for an hour."

"It's okay for a woman to touch you but not okay for a man to touch me?"

He suddenly turned around before I was dressed, prompting me to cover my breasts with my shirt.

"It's not okay for a man to touch you when I fucking can't," he snapped before turning back around, allowing me to finish getting dressed. After several seconds of silence, he finally said, "I'm sorry, Princess. I acted like a fucking dickhead."

I really loved his jealousy.

"You're lucky I'm drawn to dickheads. Assholes, too." Pulling my arms through my shirt, I said, "Turn around, asshole."

"Since I'm batting zero, I'd like to give you back your pass to choose what we do for the rest of the day."

"I'll take it. I think we both need to cool off. Plus, we're all sticky from that oil. Why don't we just hang out at the pool?"

"I'm down for that."

"Wait… we don't have swimsuits."

"We'll buy them at the shop downstairs. My treat if I can pick yours." He winked.

"Deal."

"Really?" He looked surprised. "You trust me?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "I do."

This was the new Rory. Carefree. I wasn't going to get attached. I was going to loosen up and have fun with him.

"Alright."

Jess surprised me with his choice of bikini. There were some really skimpy string ones, but he chose one with a modest sports bra top and a bottom that covered most of my ass. It was white with little black polka dots and had a small ruffle over the back of the bottom. He also bought a pair of sleek black swim trunks for himself that hugged his ass beautifully.

We found two white lounge chairs next to each other and had brought snacks and magazines. It was late in the afternoon, so the pool area wasn't as crowded. We'd both taken a dip together before returning to our spot to chill. So far, this might have been my favorite part of the trip.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked.

"Something frozen and fruity."

Jess got up to head to the bar. A few girls were ogling him as he sauntered toward the other side of the pool. He didn't seem to notice how often people checked him out. Maybe he noticed but just wasn't affected by it.

After he returned with two daiquiris, we drank in silence.

Playing with the paper umbrella in my drink, I looked over at him. "This is nice."

He smiled. "I'm pretty sure if there was anything I could choose to be doing in the world right now, it would be this."

"This pool is beautiful."

"It's not just the place. It's the company."

As he looked over at me in that moment, his eyes were telling me a story. They were telling me that he'd truly meant what he said. I believed that Jess wanted me, that he wanted to be with me, but that he truly couldn't. Whatever it was that was holding him back was something out of his control. Those pesky feelings I'd been trying to suppress began to creep up again, so I buried my face in an InTouch Weekly magazine. Jess was sucking on a red Pixy stick when I got a sudden craving for sugar and asked, "You have any more of those?"

"I just might," he said, winking as he dug into the plastic bag we'd brought and handed me one.

I started to suck on it and barely anything was coming out. Then, I looked down and noticed that there was a hole at the bottom end of the stick. The orange powder had spilled out onto my stomach.

Jess laughed. "Messy girl."

"Do you have a napkin?"

"No need," he said. "Let me."

Faster than I could blink, Jess leaned over me and lowered his head to my stomach. He slowly ran his tongue along my navel, licking upward in one straight line to just inches from my breasts. I writhed under him, feeling a total loss of control as he lapped up all of the powder.

"Mmm," he moaned as he sucked the last bit of sugar off of my skin and licked his lips.

My breathing was ragged when he returned to his spot on the lounge chair. He'd left me sitting there, completely aroused but in shock. We didn't talk about what he'd done. He said he had to use the bathroom at one point and disappeared for a bit.

Just like that, all of the resolve I'd built up today was obliterated.

* * *

Since the upper hand in choosing our activities was still mine, I decided I wanted to try a really nice restaurant for dinner.

We ended up at the Foundation Room, which had a killer view that was sixty-three stories up, overlooking the strip. It was themed like an old country house with a cozy vibe.

After we devoured the crab cake appetizer, Jess opted for the steak while I ordered the grouper.

Trying hard not to think about how it felt when he licked the sugar off me earlier, it was to no avail. Every time I looked up at his lips, I could still feel them on me.

We'd ordered two bottles of wine, which seemed to flow endlessly along with the conversation. We talked straight for at least two hours. Jess spoke to me about growing up in California and talked more about his ideas and coming up with his book in practice for a writing career that never really happened. I'd divulged a lot of the details of my breakup with Logan.

I was feeling even closer to Jess. By the end of the night, it was as if I knew everything there was to know about him, except where his life stood now. That seemed to be the big black hole.

Further adding to my angst, he'd gotten a phone call in the middle of dinner which caused him to get up from the table. I was pretty sure whoever it was had something to do with why he was holding back with me.

When he returned to his seat, my heart was racing as I asked, "Who was that?"

He looked me dead in the eyes, his tone serious. "No one important, Rory."

Instead of grilling him, I poured myself more wine. With each sip, a false sense of happiness overrode my insecurities. I became happier and happier.

By the time we left the restaurant, Jess had to put his arm around me just to keep me balanced. I wouldn't say I was piss-ass drunk, but I was definitely intoxicated. So was Jess.

We were laughing about nothing. At one point, we stumbled upon a chapel. There was a sign that read, Fake Weddings Here.

Jess stopped me in the middle of the sidewalk. The vapors of alcohol on his breath infiltrated my nostrils as he spoke close to my face. "Marry me, Princess."

"What?"

"We have an illegitimate goat—a fake child together." He laughed. "It's only proper that we partake in a fake wedding ceremony to make you an honest woman."

"You're insane!"

"Shit, we can text a picture to Logan. How fucking awesome would that be?" His mischievous smile sent tremors of desire through me. "Come on, it'll be fun." He led me by the hand into the small white chapel.

A large man dressed up as Elvis stood alone in the entryway. "It's a good night for a wedding," he greeted monotonously.

"Do you need a reservation?" Jess asked.

"We're slow tonight. We can take you right now if you want."

Jess looked at me, his semi-drunken eyes glassy. "What do you say?"

I shrugged. "There's no license. It's not real. So, no harm, right?"

We each filled out a form with some of our basic information. For a cool $199, we ordered the full wedding experience that included a ceremony, five digital images, souvenir rings, a silk bouquet and my choice of borrowed dress. Before I knew it, I was being whisked away by a woman named Zelda with a mop of frizzy red hair. She brought me to a back room where there was a rack of assorted white dresses in different shapes and sizes. She had me try on a few different ones, and I ended up picking out a strapless, lace mermaid style gown that was a little too long. My boobs were also spilling out of the top. It was the one dress that I liked, though.

Zelda helped me do my hair into an updo with tendrils framing my face. I had no idea what to expect when I walked back out there.

Music began playing. "Are they starting?" I asked.

"Your boyfriend must have picked a song, so yes."

"We're supposed to pick the song?"

"We have a library of music, and we usually let the groom choose while the bride is getting dressed. That's the best use of time."

I recognized it as Marry Me by Train. Even though the whole thing was staged, I couldn't help the butterflies that were swarming inside of me as the music played. As much as I knew this was fake, my nerves seemed every bit the same as they would have been were this a real wedding.

This is ridiculous! Why am I so nervous?

Zelda handed me my small bouquet of silk calla lilies. "Ready?"

A deep breath escaped me. "Sure." Suddenly, I could feel myself starting to sober up. This was not the time to lose my alcohol high.

When I appeared at the threshold that led to the small aisle, Jess was waiting with one hand crossed over the other. He was still wearing the same fitted black button-down shirt he had on at dinner, except a small boutonniere was now pinned to the front. He looked so handsome and… nervous, too. This was the weirdest experience.

As the music played, I took very slow steps toward him. My heart was beating through the tight lace fabric hugging my breasts. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped over my dress and nearly wiped out. Jess snorted and started to crack up, and I couldn't help laughing, too. That definitely lightened the mood for the rest of my trip down the aisle.

Zelda gestured for my bouquet as she positioned herself diagonally behind me. Apparently, she was my maid of honor, too. Elvis started to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Jess James Mariano and Rory Gilmore in holy matrimony…"

"James?"

He winked.

Elvis continued, "Which is an honorable estate that is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly."

"Not exactly soberly," Jess cracked.

"If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

We both looked behind us to the empty seats. You could have heard a pin drop.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Zelda spoke from behind me, "I do."

"Will you be using standard vows, or do you have your own?"

We answered at the same exact time.

"Standard," I said while Jess blurted out, "I have my own."

"You have your own?" I whispered.

"Yeah." He grinned.

"We'll start with the bride then." Elvis recited the standard vow, and I repeated them word for word after him.

Then, it came time for Jess to speak.

He paused, closed his eyes briefly then looked into my eyes as he took my hands in his. "Rory, from the moment you opened your smart mouth and called me an asshole in the first few seconds we met, I knew you were a pistol. At first, I thought it was the stick up your ass. I later realized it was just a protective mechanism. You'd been hurt, and you didn't want to let anyone in. Sometimes, those who put up the biggest shields are those who are protecting the biggest hearts. My dad used to always say, if you want to know the size of a person's heart, look at how they treat animals or those that can offer them nothing in return. For some reason, you decided to trust a random bloke long enough for me to figure out that you have the biggest heart there is. You are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You turned what started out as a miserable trip into the adventure of a lifetime. You can't begin to understand how much this time with you has meant to me. If you take nothing else from this, please remember that you deserve to be happy."

Tears were stinging my eyes.

Oh. My. God.

He'd caught me so off guard with that speech that it stunned me into silence. It was beautiful, but also sounded awfully like a cryptic goodbye.

There wasn't a trace of humor in his expression. He'd meant every word.

I heard nothing else that Elvis said up until, "By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, you may now kiss the bride."

I wasn't looking at Jess anymore. I just shook my head repeatedly to let Elvis know he should skip that part, that Jess and I wouldn't be doing that. "We're not gonna kiss."

The next thing I knew Jess's big, warm hands had cupped my face as he leaned in and growled over my mouth, "The fuck we aren't."

In an instant, his lips devoured mine. My legs went almost totally limp. My heart was beating out of control as he pressed his body into me. He nudged my mouth open unabashedly with his tongue as it went in search of mine. Unable to get enough of the sweet taste of his breath, I opened wider, letting him in. He moaned into my mouth as I moved my hands upward to tug on his silky hair. He stopped kissing me long enough to lightly bite my bottom lip before releasing it. The kiss then became hungrier. I had no idea how long it lasted because a sense of time didn't exist for me anymore.

Elvis coughed. "Alright. That's nice. We have another couple now waiting to get hitched."

Jess pulled away.

Completely dazed, I looked up at him. His hair was all messed up from my fingers running through it. His stare was penetrating, and he looked just as bewildered as me.

What the fuck just happened?

* * *

 ** _a/n: big changes happening y'all. rory jess finally kissed can you believe it? I couldn't hold it any longer I just had to let my babies have a little moment of happiness... as always, leave a review! _**


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: WARNING! HEAVY M RATING TOWARDS END OF CHAPTER! I have warned you! Also I don't own any of this. Also also sorry this update is so late; more notes at the end of chapter._**

* * *

The mood changed as we exited the chapel and found two couples waiting in the lobby. The first couple looked like they might skip the wedding and go straight for the honeymoon—right there in the lobby. The groom was dressed in an American flag suit consisting of red pants, a blue jacket spotted with stars, white shirt and a red and white striped tie. When he released his vacuum suck of his future fake bride's face, he lifted her into his arms, and I saw that she had on a matching outfit, only hers was an American flag bikini.

"Do you speak Russian?" he asked Elvis, who had followed us into the lobby with Zelda in tow.

Elvis shook his head. "Bilingual services are extra. You need an appointment."

"How much extra?"

"One hundred and fifty dollars. We have to pay the translator."

The patriotic groom reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wad of bills. He frowned, and his fake bride started shouting something in what I could only presume was Russian. She stamped her foot and flailed her arms as she ranted.

Jess snickered and leaned into me. "And I thought you were a bitch."

"Hey." I smacked at his abs.

He smiled, and I was torn between being sad that the sexual tension had ebbed and being relieved we seemed to be back to our version of normal. Jess held his hand out to me. "Mrs. Mariano?"

 _Shit. I liked the sound of that. A lot._

I put my hand in his, and Zelda ran over. "Would you like to do your wedding photos inside or outside? We have a lovely gazebo and pond out back. There's even a swan in the pond. She has an injured wing, but she looks beautiful in the background of photographs."

"We'll do them inside," Jess responded quickly.

"But the swan sounds nice."

"We don't have room for another pet. I'm not letting you near that thing."

I rolled my eyes. "We can just skip the pictures."

"Not a chance, Princess. Logan needs one of those babies." A dirty grin tempted at the corner of his lips as his eyes dropped to my chest. I had some serious cleavage trying to spill out in that form fitting dress. "Plus. You… in that dress… that's top of the toilet tank material right there."

"Pervert."

We posed for four pictures; it was reminiscent of dreadful prom photos. The last photo, Zelda made a suggestion. "How about something romantic now?"

I cocked my head and challenged Jess, laughing. "Yeah, sweet talker, how about something romantic?"

Zelda changed the background we were standing in front of. No longer were we standing in front of the famous old, neon Las Vegas sign. We were now transported to a honeymoon suite of some sort. The background had a photo of a large bed filled with rose petals and candles were lit all around the room. It was so ridiculously cheesy, I couldn't help but laugh. "Come on. It's our fake honeymoon night. There's our bed. Don't you have something romantic to say?"

Jess glanced back, got a load of the scene and turned back to me. "I'm not exactly the romantic type."

"What a surprise."

Jess's eyebrows lifted and then he stared at me for a second before he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "How's this for wedding night romance. If that were our bed, and I was lucky enough for you to be my wife." He paused and took a breath in, exhaling warmth on my neck. "If I was lucky enough to get to have you, I'd own every inch of that body. For the first time in your life, you'd give up that control you cling to so tightly. I'd demand it, and you'd willingly give it to me." He practically growled the rest. "That bed. I'd fuck you full of romance." He pulled his head back to look at me. Our noses were touching, but neither of us leaned in to formalize the connection. It wasn't necessary.

Zelda interrupted, "Beautiful. I think I captured the moment. I guess you're a romantic after all, Mr. Mariano."

Jess smirked. I stood in place, unable to move. "Lucky for me, it seems my bride likes my brand of romance after all."

* * *

We were both sober by the time we arrived back at our hotel, although a big part of me still felt off kilter. I was drunk, just not from alcohol any longer. We were both still wearing the cheap metal bands that were keepsakes from our fake wedding, and when we arrived at my hotel door, Jess scooped me up off my feet.

"Gotta carry my bride over the threshold."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and sagged into his chest as he unlocked the door with one hand. "Wonder what the history of this is. So the man can show off how strong he is?"

"I think it started because the wife was nervous about losing her virginity."

I snorted. "Well at least we don't have to worry about that one."

Jess's eyes bore into me. He didn't even try to hide the jealousy. It gave me an idea. "Do you want to get married someday?" I asked.

"Someday? I thought I just did." He set me down just inside of my room.

"I mean for real. I wonder who will be carrying me over the threshold when it's my real wedding."

Jess's eyes were serious. "I don't want to think about it."

I kept pushing. "Maybe my new firm will be chock full of eligible bachelors."

"You mean like Logan?"

I shrugged and sat down to take off my four-inch heels. "I've decided I'm not going to let him keep me down any longer. I've been moping around for two months. When I get settled into California, I'm going to get back on the horse." I looked up and grinned. Jess was still standing near the door. "What, no dirty comment about me getting back on the horse and taking a good ride? You're slipping, Jess."

His jaw flexed. "Maybe you should take up with that magic wand again, rather than rushing into things."

I stood and walked to him, turning my back and pulling my hair to the side. "Can you unzip me?" The room was silent for a long moment before I felt Jess's hands touch me. One gripped my hip firmly, almost as if he had to hold on tight to keep it in place. The other reached up to my zipper. The sound it made as he slowly unzipped was positively erotic.

Seriously, what was wrong with me?

Neither of us moved. We stood there with thick tension swirling around us.

"Jess?" I breathed. I didn't even recognize my own voice; it was so low and husky.

His fingers dug deeper into my hip. It almost hurt, but turned me on at the same time. I waited for him to say something. Anything. I kept waiting. Neither of us moved.

Still nothing.

"Jess?" I tried to turn around and face him, but his hands kept me in place.

"Don't. I need to go, Rory." He paused and blew out a deep breath. "The guy who gets to carry you over that threshold for real, is going to be one lucky bastard."

I didn't turn around until I heard the door to my room click closed behind him.

* * *

It was a good two hours before I heard him return. The door between our adjoining rooms was cracked open enough so I could hear him moving around. My head was spinning, and the thought of never seeing him again after tomorrow seriously had me sick to my stomach. I'd spent more than a year with Logan, and the day I moved out didn't hurt half as much as this did.

Lying in my own bed, knowing Jess was so physically close, yet I couldn't touch him, made me crazy. I kept on replaying his words over and over in my mind, dissecting each and every conversation I was able to recall. He'd told me I was beautiful. He'd spelled out the things he fantasized about doing to me in vivid detail. He'd said the man who I wound up with was lucky. His words told me he wanted me. His eyes told me he wanted me. His body, his breath, the way he stared at my body like he was clinging to his last thread of control.

I was damn certain he wanted me—that much I'd finally accepted. He just… couldn't. Couldn't was the word he'd actually used. Like it was wrong to allow himself. I knew he was trying to protect me from whatever was holding him back. But I didn't want to be protected anymore. What I wanted, was to be fucked into oblivion. And it was time I took control of the situation. I am a woman, damn it. Hear me roar.

With adrenaline pumping through my veins, I slipped into my bathroom, washed my face and let my bedtime ponytail loose. I lifted my nightshirt over my head and stared at myself in the mirror. The underwear I was wearing were cute—a pale pink lace demi cup bra with matching boy shorts. But I was done beating around the bush. I shimmied out of my underwear, unhooked my bra and took in my reflection.

My cheeks were flushed, my body was toned, and for the first time in a long time, I liked what I saw. There was no time left. I had to do it now before I chickened out. With each rise and fall of my chest, courage was starting to disappear. I looked at myself one last time, took a deep breath and headed for the door that separated us.

Here comes the lioness.

Jess was walking out of the bathroom as I walked in. He had nothing on but a plush white towel wrapped around his narrow waist. It was dark, but the lights coming from the Vegas strip outside of the bedroom windows illuminated the room enough so I could see. Droplets of water glistened from his chest. He was quite literally breathtaking, because my heart was beating wildly in my chest, and it felt like all of the oxygen was sucked out of my lungs when he caught sight of me.

We stared at each other wordlessly for a moment. The flex of his jaw as he tried to hold my eyes was a testament to how hard he attempted to resist. But he lost the internal battle he had waged when his eyes dropped. I watched each and every second as he took me in. First, my breasts—perky nipples taut and waiting—greeted him. His chest heaved up and down. I felt the caress of his touch on my skin as his eyes continued their descent lower. He took his time to appreciate the narrow of my waist, curve of my hip and flatness of my stomach. Both of our breaths were shallow and fast when his eyes reached still lower, falling on my thin landing strip. Between my legs was soaked, and we hadn't even touched yet. I almost lost it when he licked his lips.

"Rory," he groaned in warning. It sounded like he was in actual physical pain. "I—"

He was about to reject me again, and there was no way I could bare it. I wanted him desperately—even knowing I'd only be getting a piece. I pressed my finger to his lips and silenced him. Shock registered on his face when my other hand yanked the towel from around his waist free. I held it up in front of his face and ceremoniously let it drop to the floor.

Jess was gloriously hard, and I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. "We need to consummate our marriage."

He closed his eyes, and for a few agonizing seconds, I waited. When they reopened, everything was different. His pupils were dilated, wild and crazy, filled with desire and raw need. It was like looking in a mirror.

"Get up on the desk." He lifted his chin toward the floor to ceiling windows. A long desk was positioned so you could sit and look out onto the strip while working. There was an edge to his voice, a stern demanding tone that I'd never heard him use before. It made my knees weak as I crossed the room and positioned my ass where he instructed.

"I fantasize about you every night when I go to bed and wake up with a picture of you in my head and a hard-on every morning."

I knew he was attracted to me. But his admission reflected the level of obsessive thoughts I'd been having about him. It made me brave again. "Show me. Show me how you see us when you fantasize. I want to turn your dreams into reality."

His eyes gleamed and lips curled up to a wicked grin. "My dreams don't have rainbows and doves. They have me, pulling your hair as I fuck you up on that desk. You want to be my real live dream, Princess?" He prowled toward me and stood directly in front of where I was perched.

I swallowed hard and nodded.

The dimples appeared. Although the big guns weren't even necessary, I was already a goner. "Spread your legs."

The way he was looking at me made it easy to shed my inhibitions. "You have the most perfect tits I've ever seen in my life. And that pussy… it's even better than I imagined."

I shivered. "You have some dirty mouth on you."

He lowered his mouth to my breasts and looked up at me. Brown number thirteen blazed. "You're going to like my dirty mouth even better after tonight."

I closed my eyes as he drew my right nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirled as he licked and sucked and then caught it between his teeth and tugged hard before moving to the left one.

A soft moan fell from my lips, and I forced my eyes open to watch him. He was devouring me with his sinful mouth. The reality was even better than the fantasy that had played through my head over and over for the last week. After taking time worshiping my breasts, his tongue traced a path from my cleavage down to my belly button. Then he dropped to his knees.

His hands spread my thighs. "Wider."

God I wanted his mouth on me down there. I gripped the edge of the desk so tight, my knuckles turned white.

He took a good long look. I was sitting before him so bare, so exposed, that I had an overwhelming urge to close my legs and hide myself from him. But then he licked his lips again. He was actually salivating to taste me. It was the single most erotic thing I'd ever seen in my life.

He leaned in close and blew a steady stream of air from the bottom to the top of my sex. The cool air connected with my wetness and every nerve in my body zapped to life. My breathing was completely erratic just from the anticipation. I couldn't imagine being able to breathe once his mouth was on me.

He looked up, and our gazes met. "Watch me, Rory. I want you to watch me as I eat every last drop of this sweet pussy."

I couldn't respond; anything that came out of my mouth would have been completely incoherent. He didn't wait for an answer anyway. He hauled my ass closer to the edge of the desk and buried his face between my legs. Ravaging me, he sucked and licked, coaxing my body to the brink of orgasm and then pulled back, lessening his suction and slowing his pace. He was not allowing me to fall over the edge. Each time my breathing started to level out, he would start all over again. It was merciless and maddening, and I was beginning to grow desperate.

The third time he started to slow down when I was coming close to orgasm, I gripped his hair. My hands fisted in his thick, damp mane, and I tugged, urging him to continue. "Jess, I… need to…"

"Not yet."

Part of me wanted to kill him, but that part was overruled by the part that needed to desperately find release. "Please. I need to…"

"Not—"

He didn't get the chance to finish. I yanked hard on his hair and pulled his face to me. I heard him chuckle, but it did the trick. After that, he dove in hard—licking and biting, thrusting his tongue in and out of me until he again brought me to the brink. Once I was dangling on the edge, he sucked hard on my clit and sent me spiraling over. I gasped his name as my orgasm rolled through me. He didn't stop until my body felt spineless, and it was difficult to stay in the upright position.

Jess lifted me from the desk and carried me to the bed, gently setting me down. Only a minute ago I had been spent, yet seeing him naked as he stood there, suddenly had me recharged. I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and then watched him slip it on. His hand glided down his thick shaft, and my body came alive again. He was beautiful from head to toe, and every firm inch in between.

When he was done, I reached out and threaded my fingers with his. He climbed onto the bed and lifted our entwined hands up over my head, easily restraining my arms. Hovering over me, the head of his cock aligned perfectly with my opening. He searched my face, almost studying it, before our gazes locked. Then he kissed me sweetly as he gently pushed inside of me. He eased in and out a few times slowly before sinking deep. Rooted, he groaned and held himself in place briefly—his face telling me that being buried inside of me felt so good; he didn't want to move a muscle.

I wrapped my legs around his back, the new position allowing him to penetrate even deeper. "Fuck." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. I loved seeing him struggling for restraint.

We easily found our rhythm together and rocked with a fervent pace. Our bodies slick with sweat, we glided up and down, hips swiveling round and round, until we were both shaking. I moaned as I felt him begin to come undone. His pace quickened, and he drove into me deeper and deeper until we came together while staring into each other's eyes.

It was hours later, drained of many more orgasms, when I finally fell asleep. Filled with new promise and hope, the last thing I remembered thinking as I dozed into dreamland was that I couldn't wait to wake up tomorrow to be with Jess again.

* * *

 **A/n: that happened. I am sorry to say this only has one more chapter but I will give you guys a little heads up and say the sequel to this will be in Jess's perspective!**

 **Also sorry for the last scene lmao thankfully I changed the rating to M. Sorry this update came so late once again I've been terribly busy. And sorry this chapter was sorta short btw, The next chapter will be up soon though because I need to finish this one in order to start the sequel :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: oh gosh I'm so sorry about this being so late! I promise the next chapter will be out tomorrow! I realized I can't end the story on this note, so I'll be adding the first chapter from the sequel to this! Just so you guys know what's up. *wink wink***

 **Once again, sorry for this being so late :(**

* * *

The sun blazed through the tall windows, warming my naked body. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew it was at least early afternoon. I lifted my arms over my head and stretched. My muscles ached, although it was the kind of pain I relished. I'd had boyfriends, a healthy sex life even. Up until last night, I would have gone as far as to say my previous dalliances were somewhat satisfying. But what happened between Jess and I put anything that ever came before it to shame.

Smiling at the thought, I reached back to the bed behind me, anxious to reconnect physically. Finding Jess' spot empty, I turned and listened for signs of where he was. It was quiet, but a minute later a knock at the door answered my question. I wrapped the sheet around my body and padded to the door. A woman dressed in a housekeeping uniform was standing with a cart when I opened it, expecting to find Jess.

"Ummm." I pulled the sheet tighter to my body. "Can you come back in a little while? We have a late checkout today."

The woman looked at her watch and back to me. "Fifteen minutes?"

I had no desire to rush to get ready but nodded anyway. After I closed the door, I looked around both rooms, even though I knew I was alone. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach—I never wanted this trip to end. Jess had given me no reason to believe things between us would continue once we arrived in California. In fact, he'd been pretty clear that the trip was it for us from the get go. But hadn't last night changed everything? I wanted to allow myself to think it really could have, yet there was that feeling.

In the shower, I closed my eyes and could see Jess hovering over me in the early hours of the morning. It was our third go around, and very different from the first two times."

Our desperate, frantic race to be together was behind us, and we slowly poured emotion into every beautiful movement. I'd had sex before, but until that moment in time, I'd never really made love.

The warm water of the shower washed over my skin, and I replayed those last few moments over and over. "You're an amazing woman," Jess said. "Thank you for making my fantasy come alive. I hope all of your dreams come true. You deserve that, Rory." In the moment, I'd thought it was a beautiful sentiment. But suddenly, an intense urge to vomit gurgled up from my stomach, and my eyes flashed open. He was saying goodbye.

* * *

I checked out of both our rooms and sat in the lobby for six hours. It was ridiculous of me to do. All of his clothes were gone; he obviously had no intention of returning when he'd snuck out while I was sleeping. Yet for some reason, I refused to leave. Sitting on a leather couch in the bustling grand atrium, I stared at the hotel entrance doors. Maybe he'd change his mind? Maybe he'd hopped on a bus and made it half way to California and then regretted leaving? What if he came running back, and I wasn't here? Then, I remembered he had my phone number and hadn't called me. Reality was sinking in even deeper.

A couple walked arm in arm through the front doors. She was wearing a tight white dress and wore a long veil, carrying a round bouquet of red roses. He was wearing a suit with his undone tie hanging loosely around his neck and a rose pinned to his lapel. I watched as he pulled her to him for a long, passionate kiss before heading to the reception desk smiling. Tears rolled down my cheek. It wasn't the first time today.

"Just get married?" An older woman carrying a tub overflowing with quarters sat down across from me. She had white hair styled in a big puffball that looked like it could withstand a typhoon. The blank look on my face was a dead giveaway that my mind was somewhere else.

"I'm sorry?"

Her eyes pointed down to my hands. I was absently twisting the ring on my finger. My wedding ring.

"Uh. No. It's not a real wedding band. It was… a joke." The joke was on me.

She nodded. "Would have been married fifty years next week."

I assumed she lost her husband. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You said 'would have'. Did your husband pass away?"

"Hell no. I'm not that lucky. Bastard turned out to be a liar, cheat and a gambler."

"So what did you do?"

"Pulled up my big girl panties, kicked him out and divorced his ass almost forty years ago."

I smiled. It was the first one since my shower this morning.

"There you go. Pretty girl like you, that smile should always be on your face."

"Thank you."

"So what did the bastard do?" The name she used for the man who wronged me didn't go unnoticed.

I shook my head. "He left without saying goodbye."

"Sounds like he's a coward."

I was crushed and felt like a fool. But she was right, and I was only making matters worse by sitting around waiting for him—I knew he wasn't coming back for me. I hated to admit it, but Jess was a coward. A selfish prick who didn't have the balls to even say goodbye. I let out a frustrated sigh and stood. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Reminding me to pull up my big girl panties."

* * *

The owner of the pet boarding place greeted me with a smile. "Overall, he was very good. Scared the heck out of us when he dropped to the ground at one point. But then we remembered what you said about the occasional fainting. We gave him a bath, so he should smell fresh and clean for your ride back."

Esmerelda Snowflake ran into my arms before circling around me repeatedly. He seemed flustered. Taking him by a leash, we walked out to my packed car in the parking lot. This was the final stop before leaving Vegas.

I was walking around in a daze. None of this seemed real. At any given moment, I still half-expected to hear his voice coming from behind me.

RO-RY.

"You didn't think I'd really leave you, did you, Princess?"

My chest felt full, like it could burst any moment, but shock was preventing me from letting out the sadness and despair held captive inside of me.

I let Esmerelda into the back and took my place in the driver's seat, unable to garner the energy to start the car. Looking behind me, I said, "This is it. It's just us now. Are you ready?"

The goat startled me by jumping through the center console and into the front. I watched as he sniffed the passenger seat repeatedly and let out a few loud, frantic "baa" sounds. It seemed like he was really trying to communicate something to me.

I wondered if he sensed that Jess wasn't coming back. Animals are funny that way.

"He's gone. No more Jess," I said, rubbing the back of his furry head gently and swallowing the pain of my words. I repeated in a whisper, "He's gone."

The animal started circling around in the seat until he finally stopped and rested his head down.

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

What sounded like a whimper escaped him. He couldn't be crying.

As the sounds got louder and louder, I came to the conclusion that he was. This sweet animal wanted Jess and either understood what I just said or had a sixth sense.

When he looked toward me with his sad eyes, it was at that moment that I finally let go. Everything came pouring out as I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel and sobbed. In just a little over a week, I'd found my greatest happiness and suffered my biggest heartbreak. It felt like I was born again only to be destroyed by the very thing that gave me a new lease on life.

Even though we'd slept together less than twenty-four hours ago, Jess seemed so far away now, like it was all a dream. The soreness between my legs from our one night together—our first and last—was the only evidence that it was real.

I wiped my eyes.

Big girl panties. Big girl panties. Big girl panties.

When I finally developed the courage to drive off, it seemed I had a new copilot. Esmerelda stayed curled up into the passenger seat.

As we passed a sign that read, Leaving Las Vegas, I wished that the saying were true, that everything that happened in Vegas stayed there. I knew better. What happened to me in Vegas would be something that would follow me around for a long time to come.

* * *

 **a/n: so don't hate me? I NEED you guys to read the next chapter which I absolutely promise will be up tomorrow. Can't leave you guys on a cliffhanger like this, huh?**

 **once again for anyone still reading this story, thanks! i really do look out for all of your reviews! so go ahead and rant in the reviews how you felt about this chapter and what you predict for the next one!**

 **i'll be back soon! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

so this is it! the last part of it. remember that this will all be in jess' pov so we'll get to see what he's been doing those past two years. he's currently twenty-five and rory is twenty-three (she was twenty-one when they met.)

* * *

Two Years Later

My hands were balled into fists as I sat on my bed, bopping my legs up and down. I'd dreaded this day every bit as much as I'd longed for it. The closer it got, the more my apprehension about leaving this place grew. Looking around at the Spartan gray walls, I could hardly believe that this was really it. Today was the day.

Cracking my knuckles, I got up and paced.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" my cellmate Matt said. "This is what you've been waiting for."

"You'll see how it feels when your day comes."

"Yeah. Fucking ecstatic is how I'll feel. You want to trade places? I'd give my right nut to be in your shoes right now."

"I know you would. It's not that I'm ungrateful to be done. It's just that nothing is the same as when I came in here. This place… it's become my normal. Walking out of here is gonna be like walking into a big black hole. At least here I know what to expect."

"It's been two years, not forty."

"A lot can happen in two years, man. I've learned that all too well." When the words came out of my mouth, my heart immediately felt heavier. Two years ago, I had a mom. Now, I didn't. My mom was dead. God, it was so painful to think about her not being around anymore. That was reason enough to want to stay in here and hide from reality.

Liz had suffered an aneurysm while driving about a year ago. The fact that I was locked up and couldn't say goodbye to her when she was clinging to life at the hospital was something that I would never forgive myself for.

There were a lot of things I couldn't forgive myself for.

Matt's next question threw me for a loop. "Are you gonna try to find her?"

"Who?"

I knew who.

"You know who."

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. Why did he have to bring her up? "No," I said adamantly.

"No?"

My tone was more insistent. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's been two fucking years. She's probably with someone else by now. Oh, and there's that minor detail of her hating my guts and wishing I were dead because I broke her fucking heart."

I never intended to tell Matt about Rory. I never intended to tell anyone about her, especially the details of how I left her.

One night, I had _apparently_ been talking in my sleep in the middle of a dream, saying things like, "Rory, I'm sorry. So fucking sorry." I'd woken Matt up, and he dragged it out of me. The dreams were recurring and continued to happen on and off, to the point where Matt had dubbed them "Rory's." "You had a Rory again last night," he'd say.

"You don't know for a fact that she wishes you ill will."

"What does it matter, Matt? Even if she's not married, the whole point of sneaking out that morning was to make her hate me so that she'd move on with her life and not wait two whole years for me while I was stuck in this hell. Why the fuck would I have broken her heart intentionally only to go back and try to be with her again?"

"Aren't you even curious about her?"

Fuck.

 _Of course_ I was.

Shrugging my shoulders, I let out a deep breath and sat back down on the bed, staring at the wall.

"I hope she's happy and that she's moved on. I really do. But I sure as hell don't want to put myself through witnessing that firsthand."

"Well, it's your decision. I just don't want you to regret it later. From what I can see, that shit traumatized you."

"Oh, you're a shrink now, eh, Matthew?" He scowled at my use of his full name.

"I don't have to be a professional to see it. Look, you're a good guy. She'd be proud of you if she saw it the way I do. You've made the best of your time here more than anyone I've seen come and go before."

I'd damn well tried. I'd taken some classes toward finishing my degree and even organized a reading program for the inmates in the adjoining juvenile hall. I was determined not to let these years be a total waste, to make something good out of them. If being here meant giving up everything, it was damn well not going to be for nothing. There was no doubt I'd be leaving prison a different person—not a happier one—but a stronger one.

Matt interrupted my thoughts. "Let me ask you this. What if you found out this chick was out there somewhere still single? Don't you think what you had is worth risking disappointment for a shot at a second chance?"

Before I could answer, the long, slow creak of the prison cell door opening echoed through the halls.

I looked at Matt. "I guess this is it."

He hugged me, patting my back. "When you start to feel down, think about this. If nothing else, Jess, you're still one of the best lookin' dudes ever to leave prison with his ass intact."

I broke out into almost hysterical laughter. I was definitely going to miss him. "You're a good dude. You've always had a knack for showing me the bright side of things."

"Glad I could do that for you."

"I'll keep in touch, yeah?" I said, exiting the cell.

I let out a deep breath as I followed the prison guard through the halls amidst the heckling, swearing and applause of my fellow inmates.

He took me to a room where I signed the release papers. This felt surreal. I definitely expected to be happier about leaving. Instead, the fact that I was about to become a free man left me feeling surprisingly numb.

I waited alone until he returned with a large plastic Ziploc containing my belongings. Opening that bag was like opening a time capsule of an abandoned life. There were my jeans, and navy pullover sweatshirt that I'd been wearing when I turned myself in, along with my wallet, phone and watch.

My iPhone was dead, so I asked the guard if he could find me a charger. Since it was an older phone, no one seemed to have the right kind. Apple had apparently come out with two new versions since my imprisonment began. That figured. The guard was finally able to find someone in the office with a charger that fit my phone.

"You can charge your phone in here, get dressed, and then you're free to go."

I nodded. "Thank you, sir."

I plugged the charger into the wall and proceeded to change into my clothes. After several minutes, a light illuminated the screen of my phone as the device turned on. I waited a bit longer to allow the battery to gain enough juice to last the trip to surprise Luke. I was originally going to have him pick me up, but I decided to keep quiet instead.

When it was time to walk out, I felt like a fish out of water. My footsteps past the guard booth were intentionally slow.

The bright sunshine outside the gates was a shock to my system. There I was standing in front of the massive prison building wearing the same clothes from two years ago and having no clue what to do with myself. It felt like the day I turned myself in was just yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once.

How did one become reacquainted with his own life? I felt like asking myself, "Where did we leave things again?"

I looked around me. There should have been a guidebook of what the fuck to do with yourself when you're let out of prison.

When you're locked up, it seems like your life is on pause. You come out expecting and wanting everything to be exactly the same, but knowing damn well that it's not.

All I fucking wanted right then was to go back to exactly where my life left off.

 _She_ was where my life left off.

What I wouldn't have given to snap my fingers and have her pull up to the jail in the BMW with that stinking animal in the backseat. One could only dream.

My mind was heading into delusional and dangerous territory. I shook my head and pulled out my phone to look up the number for a car service then remembered I had no data plan. Miraculously, the internet seemed to work. My phone was part of a family plan with Luke, and he must have continued paying the bill. I decided I'd walk to the nearest train station instead of taking a cab. Before I started the trek, I happened to click on my photo library.

 _Big. Fucking. Mistake._

It opened up to the last picture taken. It was of Rory. There she was.

 _Oh. God._

My heart felt like it came alive again after a two year hiatus.

 _Princess._

Suddenly, the emotions I was hoping to suppress had appeared in all of their glory, completely overpowering the numbness I'd experienced just minutes earlier.

I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she was. Rory never knew I took that picture. I'd snapped it of her sleeping peacefully in the hotel room right before I left. I wanted to always remember that moment.

Our fucking wedding night. It was supposed to be fake, but it felt all too real. Nothing had ever felt more real in my entire life.

Now, I was cursing at myself for ever thinking that taking that photo was a good idea. I should have deleted every single last image of her so that I'd never have to look at what I lost—the heart that I damn well knew I'd shattered into a million pieces.

At the time, I truly felt my leaving her the way I did was for her own good. Cliched, I know. If my girl was here, she would've snorted and told me to go find a Scott Patterson book to rip off. _No_. I'm not going to think about what she might've done or said. The past was in the past.

I knew what kind of person Rory was. She would have waited every single day of those two years for me. That wasn't fair. After everything she'd been through, she deserved her fresh start. A new city, a new life… she was on the verge of finally starting to live the life she wanted. I couldn't drag her down, couldn't make her spend two more years lonely and sad. She deserved better.

Fucking her was _definitely_ not part of the plan. Several times during the trip, I'd almost lost my control, but that night in Vegas was the last straw. I'd tried with all of my might to avoid giving in. But I wasn't strong enough. I came apart when she stormed into my room. I'd never made love to anyone like that in my life, and to this day, I didn't regret it. And I probably never will. That night with her meant _everything_ to me.

My finger lingered over the photo. I couldn't get myself to slide back through to the others. But I also knew I'd never delete them for as long as I lived.

When I stuck my phone back into my pocket, my fingers touched a piece of metal. I took it out. Gleaming in the sunlight was the fake gold wedding band that I'd still been wearing the day I turned myself in. Twirling it between my thumb and index finger, anger started to build up inside of me.

I stood there, staring at the ring, trying to figure out why I was so fucking angry all of a sudden. It was because I was starting to doubt whether I'd made the right decision.

Matt's question from earlier—the one I never answered—replayed in my head. "Let me ask you this. What if you found out this chick was out there somewhere, still single. Don't you think what you had is worth risking disappointment for a shot at a second chance?"

Placing the ring on my finger, I answered the question, "Fuck yes, it would be worth it."

I took the phone out of my pocket. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I typed into Google: Rory Gilmore.

* * *

 _a/n: i barely do this but i'm adding this so you'll know why Jess was in jail in the first place. you'll notice that the dates add up to exactly a few days after he left Rory alone in vegas. this chapter mentions "rape" therefore if you are not comfortable with it, it's okay to not read it. i hope you're not confused and if you are, i'll try to clear it up by the next chapter!_

* * *

 **Two Years Ago**

"Will the defendant please rise?"

I stood. My lawyer stood with me.

"Mr. Mariano, has your attorney explained the charges that you are pleading guilty to today?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Before I can accept your guilty plea, I must be confident that you understand the charges against you, the effect of your guilty plea, and that you are entitled to a trial. The procedure that we do here today is called allocution. I will ask you a series of questions and then you will be given an opportunity to make a statement on your own behalf before sentencing. Do you have any questions about this procedure?"

"No, Your Honor."

"You have been charged with a violation of California penal code 242—Felony Battery With Serious Bodily Injury. Has your attorney explained the elements of this crime to you?"

"Yes, Your Honor. He has."

"And do you understand that you are entitled to a trial by a jury of your peers and that a plea of guilty today will effectively waive that right?"

"I do. Yes, I understand."

"And do you wish to waive that right today and plead guilty to the crime that you have been charged with?"

"I do."

"In your own words, can you please state the elements of the crime that you are charged with?"

"I am charged with physically injuring another person and causing him serious bodily harm."

"Okay, Mr. Mariano. This Court finds that you understand the nature of the crime with which you are charged and the implications for your plea today. The district attorney and your attorney have put forth a plea bargain for the Court to accept. One of the conditions of this plea bargain requires that you provide the explicit details of the crime you have committed and the reason the crime has been committed. This removes any doubt as to the nature of your guilt. Are you prepared to provide the Court with your statement at this time?"

I turned my head and looked back at the mostly empty Court. A bailiff was picking dirt from under his fingernails. A few men in gray suits had their heads down and were texting away on their phones. It was as if nothing earth shattering was happening; this was an every day mundane occurrence. There was only one face that looked shattered in the gallery. I'd done my best to get her not to come—but she insisted. There in the third row of the courtroom, sitting alone on one of the worn, wooden pew style benches, sat Liz. Her nose was red and tears were streaming silently down her face. I hated that she was going to hear the details all over again.

Returning my attention to the waiting Judge, I nodded and spoke quietly. "Yes, Your Honor. I'm ready."

"Alright. What say you, Mr. Mariano? Tell the Court what happened on the night of July 10th?"

I swallowed hard. "On the night of July 10th, I went to the home of a drug dealer and threatened him—"

The Judge interrupted me and spoke to my attorney. "This is an alleged drug dealer, correct? The victim has not been convicted of any crime?"

My attorney responded. "Yes, Your Honor. The victim has not been convicted of any crime."

Ain't that a kick in the ass. I'll be a convicted felon before all of the real criminals.

The Judge directed the next part to me. "Mr. Mariano, you can either refer to the victim as the victim, the alleged drug dealer or by his name. Anything else will not be tolerated. Do you understand?"

My jaw clenched so tight I thought I might crack a pearly white, but I nodded. There was no fucking way I was calling that piece of shit a victim. Liz was the only victim in this whole tragedy.

"Go on."

"As I was saying. I went to the home of the alleged drug dealer, Chuck McCoy, and threatened him. The alleged drug dealer was the then boyfriend of my mother, Liz Danes. It's my understanding that he had a dispute with another alleged drug dealer. I threatened Chuck to tell me where the other drug dealer was. The police had been looking for the other alleged dealer for two weeks and weren't making any progress. I wanted to help. Chuck refused to tell me where the guy was."

"And why were the police looking for this other alleged drug dealer?"

I looked at the bench and then back at Liz. She looked broken. Taking a deep breath, I continued, "He raped her. Liz, that is. To get even with Chuck. And before he left her beaten and scarred, he told her he'd be back again."

It was the first time the Judge's face softened. "And what did you do when Chuck McCoy refused to give you the information you wanted?"

It was a small victory, but the Judge finally stopped calling Chuck the victim, too. "I attacked him."

"Were any weapons involved in the attack?"

I looked to my attorney and back to the judge. "I don't believe so, Your Honor?"

"You don't believe so? Meaning you aren't sure?"

"Well… no weapons were recovered at the scene, and I don't recall having one with me. But, no, I can't be sure."

"And why is that Mr. Mariano?"

"Because I don't remember most of the attack."

"I see. What is the last thing that you are able to recall?"

I knew. But I damn sure didn't want to repeat it out loud. Liz was so fragile already.

My lawyer whispered to me, "You need to do this, Jess."

I cleared my throat. "Chuck said something to me. And that's the last thing I can recall."

"And what is it that he said, Mr. Mariano?"

My attorney had warned me not to show anger. It took every ounce of willpower that I had to unclench my fists and speak. "He said… she was a crack whore, and she might as well have gotten the first one under her belt because she would be taking cock down her throat in exchange for a dime bag by next week."

The judge looked sympathetic momentarily. "And do you know the nature of the injuries that Chuck McCoy sustained?"

"As far as I've been told, he had a broken nose, a fractured eye socket, a concussion and a few broken ribs."

"And you recall none of the actions that lead to these injuries?"

"No, Your Honor. I don't. I remember what I already told you, and the next thing I can recall is him saying 1925 Harmon Street."

"Alright then, Mr. Mariano. We're almost done here. I have a few additional questions before we will break and then come back this afternoon for sentencing."

I nodded.

"Do you regret your actions, Mr. Mariano?"

The last question was a bone of contention between my lawyer and me. While he didn't outright tell me to lie, I could read between the lines. But I'd come this far. I was going to stand tall. Not three hours after Chuck was carted away in an ambulance, the dealer that attacked Liz was arrested. I looked straight into the eyes of the Judge and told the honest to God's truth. "No. I don't regret my actions."

It was nearly four by the time the Judge called us back into the Courtroom. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before speaking. "Mr. Mariano. Do you understand that as a result of your guilty plea, you may lose certain valuable civil rights such as the right to vote, the right to hold public office, the right to serve on a jury and the right to possess a firearm?"

Even after having two months to think about the consequences of my actions, I didn't care about what I lost. Only that Liz could sleep at night. "I understand, Your Honor."

"Okay, then. Mr. Mariano, your plea deal with the District Attorney to serve two years is found to be an adequate punishment and is therefore accepted by this Court. While the Court sympathizes with what your family has gone through, our legal system must be trusted to serve its intended purposes. We cannot have vigilantes running all over the city avenging crimes as they see fit. Your request for time to get your affairs in order is granted with the condition that you turn in your passport and do not leave the state of California. You are hereby ordered to surrender to the Los Angeles County correctional facility in fourteen days." The judge slammed his gavel and just like that, I was a convicted felon.

* * *

 _a/n: okay. yep. that happened. i really really hope you guys don't hate jess anymore. I needed to show you guys there was a reason he left and it was mainly because he knew if he stayed with rory for much longer, he would've-_

 _a) broken down and asked her to wait for him after jail, which she would've done_

 _or_

 _b) not have sex with her (which he failed) and part ways with her at the end and leave to turn himself into jail._

 _He obviously did the latter. anyways, now that our leading man is out of jail, will he get the girl? also I hope you guys look out for my sequel to this story which will be titled "Gone Girl". I'm also thinking about "Vacant Boyfriend". I'd really appreciate it if you guys could help out with titles! If no one gives me some ideas, I'll probably just stick to one of my ideas._

 _So i guess this is goodbye for now! I'll (hopefully) see you guys soon! Thanks so much once again for making this story a pretty big success! For me at least._

 _Leave your thoughts in the reviews!_


	9. author's note

_a/n: alright! I'm finally back at it again huh?_

 _as promised (super long ago) the sequel is officially out! It's called_ _ **Hit or Miss**_ __ _and it's being told from Jess' POV to really hit you guys in the feels + to explain everything with him and Rory. I really do hope you guys go check it out and let me know how it is! There's only one chapter up but there'll be more soon!_

 _For now, adieu!_


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